


Gordian Knot

by WordGeek



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Alien Culture, Angst, Episode Related, Episode: s03e10 Forever in a Day, Episode: s03e11 Past and Present, First Time, M/M, Off-World, POV Alternating, POV First Person, Present Tense, Seduction, Stranded, Undercover as a Couple, going native
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-06-15
Updated: 2006-06-15
Packaged: 2017-10-10 04:38:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 33,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/95577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WordGeek/pseuds/WordGeek
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Team gets stranded off world.  Guy loses guy to another guy.  Guy buys a clue.  Team finally gets home.  Guys have a lot to talk about.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gordian Knot

**Author's Note:**

> Gordian knot; noun.   
> 1) any very difficult problem, insoluble in its own terms   
> 2) an intricate knot tied by Gordius, the king of Phrygia, and cut by the sword of Alexander the Great after he heard that whoever undid it would become ruler of Asia.

I watch Daniel study the patrons in the bar. He's on his first drink, as am I; only difference is, I'm planning to nurse this one through the duration. It's not quite top shelf scotch, but it packs quite a punch, and I need to stay clear-headed.

The people around us look human, and if I didn't know for sure we'd traveled more than halfway across the galaxy to get here, I'd've thought we were in a bar on the outskirts of Anywhere, USA. _Well, Dorothy, it looks like we're back in Kansas after all..._

We came here to PC5-something on a seventy-two hour mission to follow up on the MALP and UAV readings of huge deposits of some Trinium-like metal we've never seen before. Carter gave it some long, complicated chemical name that sounded more or less like Geektonite to me. She went on and on about the possibilities of a mineral with a lot of the same properties as Trinium, but without that mineral's brittleness. By the time she was done with her exuberant PowerPoint presentation about its militaristic and industrial potential, she was practically glowing, and Hammond was near glassy-eyed. If I didn't know better, I'd say he okayed the mission just to shut her up; the man's got intestinal fortitude that just won't quit.

The first twenty-four hours on-planet was ideal. Temperate climate, just cool enough during the day to make me glad I'd brought my heavier jacket, beautiful scenery, snow-capped mountains in the far distance, and tall stands of trees as far as the eye could see. The area around the gate was an old growth forest, and looked like it hadn't seen human activity in hundreds of years. The mature trees and other vegetation, which had been pretty well singed by the bowl-shaped signature of the opening wormhole, were pretty solid proof of that.

It looked a lot like Alaska during high summer. I actually remarked along those lines at the time, but Carter had started chattering about the Geektonite on her way up the ramp in the gate room and came out the other side without even missing a beat, never hearing a word I said. Daniel tried to follow along with her dissertation out of politeness at first, but after a while, even he got tired of her prattling and wandered off. Teal'c was his usual stoic self, suffering silently throughout it all.

We set up camp near the gate that first day, and Carter ran all her little doohickies all over the immediate area, taking soil samples like they were goin' out of style. There was no sign that any civilization had ever been there, and I remember thinking, when we bedded down for the night, that this was gonna be an exciting little mineral run for Carter with a large side of boredom for my archeologist. I try never to play favorites and made a mental note to see if I could swing the next mission Daniel's way, just to be fair.

The following day, we broke camp and headed off in the direction Carter's gizmos said the really big vein of Geektonite was. Late that morning we started coming across small, non-threatening mammals, in addition to the birds and insects we'd already seen, but not a bothersome number of any of them.

About lunchtime on that second day, just when I started thinking it was time to start heading on back, Daniel picked up signs of what he guessed was a primitive nomadic civilization, and all of a sudden, things were looking up for the other half of the Science Twins. The well-worn game trails seemed to indicate the presence of larger animals, no real surprise there. Teal'c and I kept a sharp eye out, in case the animals that had made the tracks showed up and decided SG-1 smelled exotic and tasty.

I figured we could afford to continue to study the surrounding area for another five hours, on the clear understanding that, in order to make our deadline, the hike back to the gate would be hard and fast, not the leisurely stroll that had gotten us to that point. Nods of agreement all around, and everybody got back to their assigned tasks with relish.

About an hour into that was when it all fell apart.

Teal'c heard the noise first, and as soon as it came closer, it was clear that some kind of heavy aircraft was headed our way.

"Would that be your 'primitive nomads', Daniel?" I asked, squinting up through the dense tree canopy to try to catch a glimpse of it.

Daniel was his usual unperturbed self. "Well, obviously, there's a pretty advanced society somewhere on this planet, which is rather odd, considering that the condition of the forest surrounding the gate indicates no one's used it for more than a hundred years, and the-"

"Yeah, whatever," I interrupted as I hurried to the nearest clearing to get a better look at it, hopefully without being seen. I caught only a glimpse of a low-flying craft; in the sunlight, it glinted gold with streaks of red along the fuselage. And then the trees obscured it.

"It does not look like any Goa'uld design I have ever seen, O'Neill," Teal'c offered quickly.

We had a little pow-wow about what to do, now that we knew the place was inhabited. Carter piped up to say that since the planet's address wasn't one from the Abydos cartouche, it was unlikely the Goa'uld would know about it at all. Daniel concurred, recommending very strongly that we make our presence known, turning the mission into a meet and greet, the typical precursor to any attempt to negotiate for mining rights. Carter replied how very rare and cool it was to run into an indigenous people whose technology seemed to be at least on a par with our own, instead of those who thought we were gods or worse, too primitive and stupid to bother talking to, much share technology with. Where had we all heard that one before?

Trusting soul that I am, the timing of the aircraft's appearance seemed a little suspicious to me, but I really wanted more intel before having to commit to a course of action. I gave the order to pack up, so we could get closer to the aircraft to see what they were up to. Just as we were moving out, the noise started up again, and I knew in my gut the aircraft was taking off.

Sure enough, five minutes later, we watched the same airship cross the clearing overhead, headed back the way they'd come, and damned if it didn't have the stargate dangling underneath it. They were towing it away to god knows where, and I bet myself a week's pay they'd taken the MALP and the DHD too; I would've.

"D'oh! There goes our ride..."

That was almost two months ago.

*****

When I return to our booth after a quick trip to the men's room, I see that Jack's ordered me another drink. I send him a meaningful glare, but he merely shrugs and continues to scan the bar. I know what he's doing; he's about as subtle as a tank. I pick up the drink and take a defiant mouthful; he knows I don't have any tolerance for Earth booze, and this stuff's about two hundred proof. He wants to carry me home over his shoulder? Fine. I'm in the mood to let him.

The bar's dark, but then, what bar isn't? It's only early evening, but already there's a reasonably sized crowd. Music's playing in the background, a driving beat, with words I don't bother to try and listen to.

There's a small dance floor with about half a dozen couples on it. That's the first real giveaway that we aren't on Earth-- half the couples are same-gender, and no one's batting an eye. Even in the rare places back in the States where openly gay behavior is tolerated, it'd be pretty unusual to see it in public alongside straight couples. It just isn't done; we're backward that way. But in most other respects, this planet's development is shockingly similar to our own. If we had to get stranded somewhere, at least these guys have decent inside plumbing.

Things looked pretty bleak those first couple of days after the gate disappeared. I knew Jack was worried, but he never let on; he's a great leader-- confident, strong, smart, and he lets his people do what they're good at. We stretched our rations and hiked for three days, using the same vector the aircraft had, before we almost literally stumbled onto a simple fishing village. Jack ordered us to strip off all our insignia and stash our gear in the woods, and we set out to reconnoiter the area.

Sam's theory was that the government of the country/region/planet had detected the energy signature of both of the opening wormholes -the one the MALP went through and ours the following day- and had sent a team to investigate and remove the device responsible for it, for study. Jack pointed out that if they'd've taken the time to look around the site at all, they'd probably also have found evidence of our camp and deduced that someone or some_thing_ had come through the big circle. The jury was still out on how they might be handling that news, and that's why Jack was being cautious.

There was no sign that the aircraft had brought the gate to the fishing village. I did some careful eavesdropping and picked up some of the rudiments of the language before making contact with one of the locals. I was quickly able to determine that the village was a sort of migrant worker camp. Apparently it was only populated for a short period of time every year, mere weeks by the sound of it, while the weather was decent enough to fish the schools of some kind of ocean creature that mated in the offshore reefs.

Apparently, the rest of the time the makeshift town was completely deserted; the whole continent was usually buried by continual ice and snowstorms, making the place uninhabitable. No one had bothered to establish anything more than a rough infrastructure there, because there wasn't any reason to be on the continent at all except for fishing season, which I gleaned was about half over for that year.

Sam mused out loud that if the SGC had dialed up this planet this time next month, timing would've had the MALP detecting an ice-world, and the address would've been shut out of the dialing computer forever. Timing is everything, right?

No one in the village seemed to think it odd that the four of us showed up for work out of the blue, since apparently ships ran weekly, dropping off and picking up workers all the time. The transient nature of the sea creature business didn't lend itself to anything more than the most casual of acquaintances in the best of times. The work was so brutal and unpleasant, it was rare for someone to choose to come back to work there a second season.

Jack and Teal'c got work on the fishing boats, which left every morning before dawn. Sam and I ended up in the cannery, working from noon, when the boats started coming in with their catch, until midnight or later, when the last of it had been put up. It was smelly, backbreaking, nasty work, with punishing hours, but apparently, the pay was considered phenomenal. Each worker fully expected to make a small fortune before the weather began to turn, and the creatures, 'pescigosta', they called them, left for the season.

A week after the airship had taken the gate away, another, smaller craft flew over the village in the same direction, and then circled back within the hour. Jack thought the explosion that followed a short time later sounded an awful lot like something he called a 'Daisy Cutter'. He'd seen them used in Vietnam, whenever the military needed a quick airfield. By his description, this particular explosive completely levels all the vegetation and animal life within a carefully proscribed area with no resultant fallout, making convenient crop circle-shaped areas for use as helicopter landing pads. The townsfolk seemed surprised at the tremors that rocked their tent-town that afternoon, but had little energy left at the end of the day to worry about it for long.

No one I spoke with would admit to knowing anything about a circular structure four days' hike back into the woods. Sam's theory that the government had taken the gate away to determine what it was and how it worked was still valid, but with the subsequent deliberate destruction of all life in the immediate area, Jack thought there was a significant possibility that said government was more than just a tad xenophobic, and he was afraid they'd just as soon destroy the gate as study it. I was inclined to agree with him.

We worked hard for three weeks, using only enough of the currency we earned to buy food and supplies, saving the rest. We continued to camp in the woods rather than rent a tent from the outfitter in the town. The tent-city was closer to the scant few amenities there were, but it wasn't an expense we could afford to make. Fortunately, no one seemed to notice or care. When the weather started to turn colder, and the migrant town began to pack up around the edges, we had enough money to pay for ocean passage to the mainland for three people. Since I was the only one of us even close to fluent in the language at that point, I talked my way onto the ship by promising to work in the galley in exchange for passage to the mainland.

We'd seen one other woman in our time in the fishing village. They were scarce in the pescigosta trade, but there were plenty of them on the cruise ship. Jack didn't like the hungry looks Sam started getting, so Teal'c stayed pretty close to her all the time. While I worked in the galley, Jack mingled among the passengers, using his limited understanding of the language to try and overhear something useful about the world on which we now found ourselves trapped.

*****

Daniel's ordered himself an unprecedented third drink. I can tell he's feeling more than a little altered, and that's just fine with me. His schedule has him working six nights out of an eight-day workweek at the restaurant, and this is one of his nights off. After working with those slimy fish-thingys every day for most of a month, all my kids deserve a little time downtime to blow off some steam.

The apartment he and I rented today will be big enough for the four of us, and a huge improvement over being squished together in that tiny motel room we've been living in for the last week, but in all the ways that matter, it's still claustrophobic.

Daniel's pissed off at me and making no secret of it. If Carter and Teal'c have noticed, they probably just think it's one of our usual squabbles. He and I know it's a bigger deal, but there's no way he's getting his way this time; I'm standing firm.

I steal a glimpse at Daniel over the rim of my glass. His eyes still look clear, but he's taking the crowd apart, one body at a time. I'm as relaxed as I ever get, holding at somewhere around DEFCON 2, just making sure nothing sneaks up on us while he takes his turn decompressing. I make a mental note to pick up a bottle of whatever they call this stuff so we don't have to go out in public the next time somebody needs to chill; interaction with the natives while under the influence is always risky.

Daniel's people-watching like I've never seen him before. Looks like he's narrowed his field of interest to two individuals at opposite ends of the bar. He's observing them interact with the other patrons, probably gathering useful intel about the local culture and social customs. I think. That _better_ be what he's doing... My dick twitches annoyingly as I think about what happened a couple of nights into the cruise.

I was on deck stretching my legs, trying to give Teal'c some peace and quiet to do his Kel-no-reem thing. Carter had fallen asleep almost immediately after dinner in the small quarters the four of us were sharing. So now I was standing alone at the rail, minding my own business, waiting for Daniel to get off KP duty. With no one else on deck, due to the late and chilly hour, I was keeping myself busy checking out the star patterns and the single half moon over our new world.

Hearing murmured voices behind me, I turned toward the sounds. In the darkness, I was barely able to discern the outline of two bodies locked in a passionate embrace, but the wet sounds of kissing were unmistakable. Just as I started to turn away, I saw the glint of reflected light. Glasses. Almost involuntarily, I edged closer, and I recognized one of the hushed voices.

I cleared my throat and was totally bowled over to find that the body pushing Daniel up against the bulkhead belonged to a man. A tall, blonde guy. I cleared my throat again. "Daniel? Everything all right here?"

He was panting, maybe a little flustered at being caught in the act. He swiped an arm across his wet mouth before he frowned and said, "What are you doing here?"

I caught Daniel's new friend eyeing me up and down, like he was trying to decide if he could take me. He glanced back toward Daniel with a mumbled question, and Daniel muttered something in reply. With a last smirk in my direction, Blondie nodded and headed back down the dark passageway.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" I snapped, more pissed off than I realized.

Daniel turned away from me and headed out to the open deck, where he leaned on the ship's railing and pulled his jacket more tightly around him against the wind. "What did it look like I was doing?"

"Having your tonsils excavated."

"How quaint."

"That's-"

"Look," he said with a deep, put-upon sigh, "you said we were supposed to be gathering intel, right? Well, you do it your way; I'll do it mine."

Intelligence? Who's he kidding? This is the least intelligent thing I've seen him do since... well, since Ke'ra. "Daniel, we've been on this planet for less than a month, and already you're trying to go native?"

Daniel turned to look at me, frowning. "Go native?" He shook his head and turned back to the railing kinda sad-like. "Nothing that complicated, Jack; I was just hoping to get laid."

"We're on a passenger ship, Daniel; close quarters for a long time," I said, patiently explaining the frighteningly obvious. "You don't shit where you live."

Suddenly he turned and peered over his glasses at me, oozing belligerence. "And _you're_ telling _me_ this?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You. Sam." He didn't elaborate further.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Oh, please. Spare me the Colonel Innocent act. You've seen the way she looks at you. Christ, everybody's seen the way she looks at you! I don't know why you're being coy about it now. We're half a galaxy away from Earth and the regs that've been keeping you two lovebirds apart for three and a half years. Do us all a favor; get a room and just get it over with, all right?"

Where the hell's he getting this crap? "I don't know what your problem is, but we're done here. Let's go." I made to grab his arm, but he jerked it away.

"Actually," Daniel said lightly, "I already have plans for the evening. Don't wait up." He started back down the passageway after his 'friend'. I let him get two steps in that direction before I caught him by his right wrist and spun him so his arm was wrenched up between his shoulder blades. I used that momentum and the weight of my six foot two inch frame to press him face first up against the bulkhead.

"Let _go_ of me," he demanded, keeping his voice low. Even as pissed off as he was, he knew better than to bring the attention of the rest of the ship down on us.

I got right up beside his face and used my best hardass voice. "You're coming back to the room with me, Daniel, if I have to subdue you and carry your stupid ass back unconscious. Is that clear?"

"Fuck you! Let _go _of me_!"_

"You gonna be a good boy and come quietly?"

"Apparently," Daniel grunted angrily as he tried to yank himself free, "I'm not gonna be coming at all tonight-"

He continued to wriggle, trying to shake me loose, but I had him good. I stopped the squirming easily with a carefully placed knee in his right kidney, pressing just hard enough to drive my point home, but not enough to cause any real damage. "What's it gonna be?" I asked again. I knew Daniel could feel my hot breath against the side of his neck, and I found myself enjoying the rather predatory feel of our respective positions.

"Stop it!" Daniel panted. "I'll come with you; just let _go_ of me!"

I loosened my grip, and he roughly pushed away from the wall. He turned and glared at me, rubbing at his wrist and arm with the opposite hand. I saw something flicker across his face, but I couldn't quite catch it; some kind of threat/counter-threat had been exchanged in a blink of an eye. Whatever it meant, I was pretty sure I'd won.

In a bit of suck-ass timing, the captain's first mate stalked up to us, gruffly spitting out words I couldn't understand. This put me at Daniel's mercy, which at that precise moment was the last place I want to be. Daniel answered the man with an affirmative nod of his head.

"Daniel...?" I inquired in a low voice.

"He wants to know if everything's okay."

I tilted my head just a bit, the gesture Daniel must surely recognize by now as 'Annnddd?'. His chin jutted out and then just as quickly his expression evolved into an almost coy smile as he said something softly to the official, followed by the batting of eyelashes. The next thing I knew, he'd deliberately turned his body into mine, nudging our hips together and encircling my waist with both his arms.

I tensed up, sure the officer could hear my teeth grinding. Playing along, because, really, what the hell choice did I have, I draped my right arm possessively across Daniel's shoulders, making a big show of pulling him in tighter. I then slipped my left hand into my own jacket pocket, the very picture of intimate casual. "Is this a good idea?" I asked softly, not taking my eyes off the official glaring at us.

Daniel turned his face toward mine and started nuzzling at my five o'clock shadow. "He originally thought you were assaulting me," he whispered. "He was going to have you thrown in the brig. I probably just saved your life by telling him it was only a lovers' quarrel."

I met his gaze then, sure the heat of my anger was showing clearly in my eyes.

Daniel smiled smugly as he gently humped my hip. "Kiss me like you mean it," he whispered.

I couldn't believe Daniel was acting out that way, but the crewman seemed unperturbed by the display, obviously waiting for some kind of proof that the situation was just as Daniel described it. I slipped my right arm up from his shoulders to around his neck, crooking my elbow tightly, securing his head in an undisguised headlock, forcing Daniel up onto his toes. Then I slowly brought Daniel closer until our lips brushed gently. At the last moment, I crushed our mouths together, taking my anger out in a display of pure ownership, forcing my tongue into his mouth, biting at his lips, making sure the official got an eyeful.

Daniel was stubborn and didn't make a sound. At first, he watched my slow approach with rapt fascination, and he opened his mouth willingly, like he'd completely forgotten we were being watched. When I turned the kiss savage, I felt him tense up, like he was gonna shove me away, but that would've blown our cover, and so he stayed and made it look like he was enjoying having his mouth ravaged for the sake of our audience.

We were both breathless by the time the kiss ended, but I'll bet I was more in control than he was. "Get rid of him," I whispered, not taking my eyes from Daniel's. It could've been 'I love you', for all the crew guy would understand.

"Let me go-"

"Oh, I don't think so," I said coldly, loosening the headlock just enough so Daniel could turn his head a little, but no more. Our chests were still plastered up against one another, and I could feel Daniel's heart pounding. I poked my nose into the side of his face, and he cringed as my hot, intimate breath gusted across his cheek and along his neck. "And smile, Daniel," I warned him seriously as I ran the tip of my tongue along his ear, "or I'll kiss you again."

Daniel used the minute freedom I'd given him to get down off his toes. He turned his head to address the sailor, smiling nervously as he gingerly wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. Words were exchanged, and Daniel chuckled uneasily. I had no idea what he said to the man, but I was ready for anything.

It was clear from the ship guy's body language that he suspected it was an act, and he seemed poised on the brink of calling for backup. The next thing I knew, Daniel had slipped his right hand down between our bodies to cup my crotch, and it was only with effort that I stopped the reflex to punch his lights out. The unexpectedly intimate move seemed to have convinced the officer we were indeed lovers, though, so that was all good.

Unfortunately, as luck would have it, I happened to be rock hard at that particular moment in time, and for some godforsaken reason, Daniel decided to squeeze it - _Jesus!_ I told myself I hadn't just surged against his palm, but I knew I was a lying bastard. I kept my eyes trained straight ahead on the official, in case he decided to make a move to call for help.

More words were exchanged, and with one last glare in my direction, the guy left to continue his rounds. As his footsteps faded into the distance, I said very calmly, "Remove your hand, please."

"Oh! God, Jack you're h-"

I released Daniel, shoving him gracelessly toward our cabin, which was fortunately in the opposite direction from the way the officer had just gone. "Not here." I wanted to get behind closed doors, in case the ship guy decided to make another circuit of the deck. I wanted to yell and shout and chew Daniel a new one for pulling a stupid stunt like that.

But most of all, what I _really_ wanted to do was throw Daniel face down onto my bunk and fuck him into tomorrow...

The next morning before breakfast, I called a team meeting. There was simply no way to keep this newest development from Carter and Teal'c. Like it or not, Daniel's ad lib the previous night had changed everything, at least for the duration of the ocean voyage, and we were all going to have to deal with it now.

"There've been some... developments," I stated calmly. "Daniel, you wanna fill them in?" I sat calmly on the edge of the bunk, leaning forward on my hands a little, trying to look reasonable and patient and in charge.

Daniel just glared at me.

"Fill us in on what?" Carter asked, looking from me to Daniel and back to me again. "Did something happen last night?"

"Oh, yeah," I replied. "Daniel?"

Folding his arms across his chest, Daniel leaned back in our cabin's only chair, pursed his lips, and began the tale. "Last night, Jack and I were out on the deck after I finished my shift and one of the crew came by. There was a... misunderstanding, and now the crew guy thinks Jack and I are a couple."

Carter's eyes were suddenly huge; Teal'c contributed only an eyebrow to the conversation. "What kind of misunderstanding would lead him to think that?" Carter squeaked.

Daniel stared belligerently at me for guidance.

_This is known as 'fallout', Daniel,_ I thought bitterly. I lowered my head, shaking it just a bit, and closed my eyes for a moment. _This is gonna be so bad..._ Locking my gaze onto his, I started, "We're in a foreign culture, about a gazillion light years from home, and you're the only one of us who really knows the language at this point. The gate's gone, and we're in deep shit here; all we've got is each other. There _can't_ be any secrets on the team."

Daniel heaved a deep sigh and let it out all at once. "Okay. It's like this. I was having a conversation with someone I met in the galley, and-"

I glared at him. "No. Secrets."

"What do you WANT from me?" he shouted. I just stared at him until he got the message. "All RIGHT! I was out on the deck, _necking_ with someone I met in the galley! HAPPY now?"

"Ecstatic. Go on."

Daniel's nostrils flared with anger, and I tried not to think about how fucking appealing that made him look. "Jack came along and was _shockingly_ rude and chased my friend away. In his _Neanderthal_ attempt to PHYSICALLY MANHANDLE me back to the cabin AGAINST MY WILL, he drew the attention of the duty officer, who was concerned that Jack was _attacking_ me, because that's certainly how it looked, and as such, was going to haul his ass to the brig, which was a perfectly reasonable response, in my opinion.

"In a _brilliant_ move of quick thinking on my part, I explained to the concerned crew member that the fact Jack had his hands all over me was because we'd been having a lover's quarrel, and he was unusually horny, which Jack then helpfully demonstrated by kissing me within an inch of my LIFE!" This louder-than-necessary tirade was punctuated by again folding his arms across his chest and smugly returning my glare. "Does that about cover it, Jack, or did you want to elucidate a couple of points I might've left out?"

Yeah, he'd left out some salient bits, like the fact that the kiss had been _his_ hare-brained idea in the first place, and the not-so-small detail of my rather inconveniently timed hard on, but I didn't have time at the moment to reason out why he'd decided to keep those points to himself. I met Daniel's irate gaze with my own artificially calm one. "I think that about covers the gist of it."

Carter's mouth was hanging open in a most unattractive way. "Holy Hannah..."

"Indeed."

My 2IC recovered almost immediately; she's good like that. "What does this culture think about same-sex relationships?" she asked seriously. "I mean, have you two broken some kind of social taboo?"

Daniel shook his head confidently. "I'm not sure about the culture on the mainland yet, but with women practically non-existent on the pescigosta line, homosexuality is the norm, at least here at sea. There doesn't seem to be a prohibition on PDAs either, as we found out. We're fine, as long as we're on the ship, and we'll just have to play it by ear once we get to the main population centers after we dock on the mainland."

"So there you have it," I said, addressing Carter, because she seemed safest. I heaved myself off the bunk, clapping my hands once and then briskly rubbing them together, as though I were eager to get moving on my big, fun plans for the day. "Let's all go to breakfast now, before it's all gone, like one big happy family. I'll be the Dad, Daniel here is the Mom, and you and little Teal'c try and stay out of trouble, hmm?"

Three shocked pairs of eyes watched me cross the room and open the cabin door. "Ladies first," I said, bowing grandly, "Daniel?" I waved my arm toward the corridor to hurry his ass along, squarely meeting his pissy glare.

Later that morning, Daniel finally caught up to me on a secluded part of the deck, out of earshot of most of the passengers and the only two people on the planet who could understand what we were saying. If we had to have 'the' conversation, and we did, this was the best place for it. A few small clusters of vacationers sat in folding chairs nearby, talking, and sipping colorful beverages.

"You really are an insufferable _bastard,_ y'know that?" he started in.

"Hey!" I said, returning his indignant tone tenfold. "I didn't write these parts for us, Daniel; _you_ did. And thanks to your 'brilliant' idea, it's what we have to live with for the next week or more, so make the best of it. If we're _very_ lucky, their society won't care about gay couples one way or the other. But if it's a homogeneous society for some reason, like on P5R-Homo-world last month, then you're my bitch; we clear?"

Daniel was rendered momentarily speechless, but I wasn't sure if he was more shocked by the content of my speech, or by the fact I'd used the word 'homogeneous' correctly in a sentence. "Excuse me? Your 'bitch'?" he finally sputtered.

"Yeah. If the situation requires it, you act the part; otherwise, keep your hands to yourself." Daniel's jaw dropped open, but I wasn't having any of that. "Don't get full of sensibilities all of a sudden, Doctor Jackson, _you're_ the one who suddenly decided he was bi-curious in the middle of a mission."

"Bi-" Daniel sputtered again. "What gives you the right to-"

"I've read your personnel file," I interrupted calmly. "You never had a gay thought in your head until last night."

He narrowed his eyes and stared me down, then turned to fix his gaze on out at the endless gray ocean all around us. "I may be bi-curious, but the dick I grabbed onto last night seemed pretty knowledgeable and happy to see me," he said calmly. "What's _your_ story?"

Ah, the sound of the other shoe; nothing gets by my anthropologist. I tried on a carefree smirk. "I don't see how that's any of your business."

Daniel turned his penetrating gaze on me, the one he uses when he knows someone's lying, and I could feel the skin peeling off the right side of my face. "You made it my business, Jack when you thrust your hard dick into my hand. _No secrets from the team_, remember?"

I tried not to notice the filthy edge to his voice, but my dick caught it immediately, damn it. "I noticed you didn't mention that to Carter and Teal'c," I replied quietly, still not meeting Daniel's eyes, because I won't ever forget the feel of him gripping me last night, although I know it would be much smarter to try to. "Why is that?"

He moved just then, turning his whole body toward me, and I could smell the complimentary shampoo the cruise line stocked in the suites. He did that nonchalant pose, the one that shows off the broadness of his shoulders against the narrowness of his waist, but I was _so_ not looking at him, uh-uh. He rested his right hip against the edge of the bulkhead and then casually folded his arms across his chest, and I imagined his biceps bulging a little under his jacket. See? Not looking.

"Because that was private, between you and me," he answered softly. Then he leaned in a little closer, and I quickly glanced up at him because I was afraid if I didn't, he'd kiss me on the cheek or something. "That was _for_ me," he said confidently, "and we both know it."

I shook my head and resumed scanning the empty horizon, willing my pulse to slow down. I've been in the service for twenty-five years and have managed to keep my dick in my pants at all the necessary times, despite many opportunities and offers. I've been careful and discrete and never, _ever_ endangered a mission.

And I've tried not to notice Daniel Jackson in 'that' context in the three and a half years we've been working together, ever since the second Abydos mission, because nothing could ever happen between us. I'm Daniel's CO, and that makes him off-limits. Good friends, but nothing more. Ever. I don't agree with don't ask/don't tell, but I do understand it, and I can work within its limitations. I can deal.

But when Daniel rubbed up against me last night and whispered, 'Kiss me like you mean it,' my dick filled almost instantly, no further encouragement necessary. I ate his mouth like a starving man, and I could still taste him, still feel his body trapped under my arm. The remembering was causing a horrible state of affairs in my pants.

Thanks to his little stunt, we were going to have to 'pretend' to be a couple. On. A. Mission. And he knew about me now. He knew last night, and he still did now, and there were no words that would convince him my dick _wasn't_ extremely interested in him. Since I couldn't exactly deny it, I didn't know what to say to him. I figured I'd try to BS him and hope something occurred to me along the way "Daniel..."

"No, Jack. Don't bother to concoct a lie. This isn't new, and it isn't some autonomic reaction to the circumstances. Six weeks ago, you were practically sniffing me in the corridor when Ke'ra was at the SGC, and you found out I'd slept with her. Everyone noticed the way you were acting then, like some jealous boyfriend. Why the hell do you think I'm suddenly 'bi-curious'? You may think you're being subtle, but I've been getting vibes from you for the better part of two months. I was shocked at first, because hell- you're the poster boy for straight. But the more I thought about it, the more sense it made. The way we go at each other on everything is nothing but foreplay, and that kiss last night..."

He was shaking his head, and I could see that his pupils were blown just remembering it. Jealous boyfriend... _Christ._ What if he were right? "It's not that simple."

"You're wrong, Jack; it's excruciatingly simple. This culture has no prohibitions against same sex relationships. What've we got to lose?"

My mouth was so dry I could barely talk. "What the hell are you asking?"

He moved again, back to leaning on the rail staring out at the ocean, but this time, our shoulders were touching, and he swiveled until our hips were touching too. Anyone looking at the body language would've thought we were a couple and had been for years. "We're here, whatever they call the place, probably forever. I've told you I'm interested. We both know _you're_ interested, and since you know what you're doing, you get to teach me."

_"What?"_

He turned his face in my direction, and he was mere inches from me, his eyes a more startling blue in the bright sunshine than I've ever noticed before. "I don't want to pretend to be your 'bitch', Jack; I don't want to _pretend_ anything. Let me be your willing partner. Let's _do_ something with all this unresolved sexual tension, before it gets one of us killed."

"You're insane..."

"Occasionally," Daniel admitted softly with a tiny smile that really _needed_ kissing, "but who isn't?" Then the bastard licked his lips. "Let's do it," he murmured.

"_'It'?_" I managed in a strangled whisper. My dick was so hard at that moment, there must not've been a single drop of blood left in my brain at that point.

"All of it. _Everything._ Whatever you want."

"Whoa!" I pushed away from the railing and briskly started to walk away. Better late than never, my fight or flight mechanism had finally kicked in and -coward that I was, no other word for it- I fled.

"Where the hell are you going?" Daniel shouted after me.

"This conversation's wrong on absolutely every level," I called back over my shoulder. _Not turning around, see?_ "I'm gonna go see if Carter can help me find something to sedate you with."

I managed to stay close to either Teal'c or Carter for the rest of the evening, and I made it a point not to wait for Daniel to get off duty from the galley that night. Hey, I can do denial like you've never seen. I heard him come into our cabin when he was finished working, and then I got to try real hard not to envision him jerking off in the shower like I'd had to earlier when it was my turn to use the facilities. After that, I made it a point not to notice him all stretched out on top of his sleeping bag, wearing nothing but his boxers and a post-orgasmic flush. _Shit._

The following morning, Daniel finally got his say. He found me after breakfast on a not-particularly scenic side of the ship, watching a flock of sea birds playing tag off the stern. I'd been hoping for a little solitude, but now three days into the cruise, vacationers had started to pair off, and the action on the deck was disturbing everywhere I looked. It seemed like PDA's were the order of the day for christsake.

"Running away from this is beneath you," he announced, like I hadn't smelled him coming.

"I'm not running away from anything," I said, steadfastly refusing to turn around.

"You are; every time you see me, you head the other direction."

"I'm being prudent."

"You're being evasive," Daniel countered, glancing down the long side of the ship. "Oh-oh. Gopher alert at three o'clock," he said softly, stepping into my space and plastering his body up against my side. His right hand slipped into mine like it belonged there.

I rolled my eyes and kept them trained over the water, to minimize the potential for interaction with either Daniel or the guy who reminded me of the sycophant on The Love Boat. I didn't yank my hand away, but I didn't overtly cooperate either.

Suddenly, Daniel leaned into me and with the filthiest voice I've ever heard said, "Talk to me, or I'll start playing with your ass."

"Is that a threat?"

"Yes."

I shouldn't've dared him. There was heavy petting going on all around us, and it'd made him braver than usual. Instantly, I felt Daniel's left hand stroke down my right butt cheek, pause for a healthy squeeze, then turn and take its own sweet time meandering back up my crack. _Holy crap..._ I tried to shrug off the offending hand without making it look like that's exactly what I was doing, and eventually, he let it slide off.

"You're really playing this for all it's worth, aren't ya?" I hoped I didn't sound as breathless as I felt. His hand settled on the small of my back, making small circles there with just enough pressure to drive me nuts.

"You said it yourself; I'm curious. So tell me."

I wished I could make a minor adjustment to the front of my pants, but I was afraid he'd see that as encouragement, and I definitely didn't want to go there. "Tell you what?" I sighed. This was _so_ bad.

"I dunno," he said, "the joys of gay sex?"

I saw from the corner of my eye that Daniel was smiling now, no doubt pleased that I was at least talking to him. Daniel's smiles were so rare, especially lately; I knew that if I looked at it full on, I was a goner.

Inwardly, I groaned. If anyone had told me when the Stargate program started up that I'd wind up teaching 'Introduction to Gayness' on an alien cruise ship halfway across the galaxy, I'd've told them they were crazy. "If you're looking for romance, Daniel, gay sex isn't for you. It's awkward, it's messy, and it's painful as hell."

Clearly not the answer he'd been looking for. "Then why do you do it?" he frowned.

Newbies. Gotta love 'em. I turned then and peered at him over the top of my shades. "Um, it's not painful for both parties, Daniel."

"Ah. Just the one being the girl?"

I sighed again. I did NOT want to be talking about this, but I didn't want him trying to get my attention by grabbing my body parts again, so I talked. "The guy who bottoms has a rougher time of it, yeah, but it's not about making someone 'the girl'. If I wanted to have sex with a girl, I'd- I dunno, fuck Carter or someth-"

"Do you?"

"Do I what?"

"Want to fuck Sam?"

"No. Hell, no. Not even."

"That's not the impression you give people. Or her either, for that matter."

"You're delusional." Carter and I? That was just a game we played; nothing behind it. "She's a member of my team, that's all."

"Why do it if it hurts?"

"What?" I thought we'd been talking about Carter...

"Why do it if it hurts?" he repeated patiently, speaking slowly, as if to an imbecile.

_If the shoe fits_, I thought to myself, wondering if he'd be asking for notes with bullet points, complete with labeled diagrams, next. "There are compensations; you'd have to ask someone who bottoms to find out if they think it's worth it."

"You've never b-?"

"Nope."

"Why not?"

"It's not who I am."

Daniel looked like he was thinking that one over. "Why sex with a man?"

"Why so many questions?"

"I'm cur-"

"Curious, yes; so you've said." I shook my head again, keeping my eyes trained on the horizon.

"So. You've been with both women and men," he said, determinedly starting again. "Obviously there are differences. Why men?"

How the hell should I know? I've never stopped to analyze it; it's just who I am. From as far back as I can remember, I've wanted men. Women are all right; they're easy, expected, traditional, but sex with them is complicated by all that other romance and dating junk. Fucking a man's... straightforward. It's real.

"Strength, I guess. Raw power. You don't have to hold anything back; it's freeing that way. There's no underlying romantic crap; the only expectation is that both of you get off. You're both visually focused, both there 'in the moment'." I probably wasn't explaining this well, but then, who'd've thought I'd ever have to? "It's not something you can really put into words, Daniel."

He nodded, probably cataloguing everything for further evaluation. "Haven't you ever wanted to bottom?" he asked softly. "See what it's like on the other side?"

"No."

A beat. "I see."

I really looked at him then, for the first time during the entire surreal conversation. _We were holding hands, for godsake!_ "You see _what?"_

Daniel shrugged. "Relationship dynamics. If you're the top, that makes me the bottom. If you won't switch, then I'm the girl. I'm trying to decide how I feel about that."

"It doesn't matter, 'cause you're not _anything!_" I whispered tightly. Part of my limited brain capacity had enough presence of mind to wonder how Daniel even knows the terms to use, but the rest of me was just pissed off. "This is all make believe; a figment of your imagination, nothing more!"

Daniel thought about it for a minute, his eyes boring into mine, and then the bastard calmly lowered them to our clasped hands, drawing my puzzled gaze down to the damning evidence. I was squeezing his hand, and with a mind of its own, my thumb was stroking the back of his knuckles in some kind of rhythmic pattern which was reminiscent of something I'd rather not be thinking about right now. I jerked my hand away like I'd been burned and gave Daniel another glare for good measure.

But he didn't notice; he was looking over my right shoulder at something. His eyebrows bunched a little and he whispered, "Gopher's on your six now." Then he slid his crotch against me again like some floozy pole dancer and fastened his open mouth on mine. But I wasn't going for it this time; if the guy was behind me, then Daniel could do enough acting for both of us. At some point his arms went around my neck, and he started straddling one of my legs, rocking his erection against my thigh _deargodhavemercyhe'shard._ He was trying to push his tongue into my mouth, but I was steadfast, lips tightly closed. Not. Going. There.

"Kiss me," Daniel demanded against my lips.

"Uh-uh!" I grunted stupidly. God, he was so hard, I think I might've started humping him back. It would've served him right if he'd've come in his pants...

Daniel moved his clasped hands up from around my neck until they were cradling my skull, and he whimpered against my mouth-_fuck! I did NOT want to know what kinds of noises he'd make._ Then suddenly, I lost my mind. I opened my mouth and sucked his tongue in, and then, just as fast, I lost track of my hands- oh! There they were, right on Daniel's ass, and such a nice ass, too, and oh _god_ he tasted good, and there we were, standing up, fucking on the deck in broad daylight with all our clothes on...

For some strange reason, even blatant PDA's were tolerated there, and Gopher didn't give us a second glance, since we weren't doing anything everybody else wasn't doing. Good thing there didn't seem to be any kids on board.

Daniel pulled out of the kiss just as the guy passed us, muttering something breathless and loud enough for him to overhear, but which I couldn't understand. We were both panting, him from making the public pass, and me from using every ounce of my willpower to reject it, right before caving spectacularly.

And all of a sudden I _needed_ to know what he'd said. With some self-control I found god knows where, I grabbed Daniel's shoulders and pushed him away from me, holding him out at arms length. "What did you just say?" I demanded under my breath as the official continued to walk away from us

Daniel blinked dazedly and licked his lips, and I knew he was tasting me again. I used my newfound superior willpower to keep from doing the same thing. "What?" His voice was thick with aborted desire, and I damned myself for wanting so badly to sate him _rightthatfuckingminute._

"I said, what did you just SAY?" I snarled, feeling a modicum of control returning as my anger made my boner start to subside. Daniel was flushed and flustered, and his lips were red and puffy and _shit,_ I wanted to fuck him so bad... "Daniel!" I gripped his biceps hard, knowing I was bruising him, and somehow, that thought sent all kinds of nasty little thrills to my balls, and I was suddenly hard again, goddamnit. I shook him. _"Daniel!"_

"Um, I dunno, something like, 'I need you, Jack, fuck me hard'."

I growled and gripped him tighter.

"What? It's true," Daniel assured me, his breath coming in hard pants, hot against my face. He was swallowing hard, and his eyes were looking a little crazed; he'd been close. "I know you want me, too, Jack. If your dick got any harder, you could drill for oil! _Please!_ Let's just go back to the cabin-"

I could feel my lips thin, and I closed my eyes to try and get back in control. Finally, I dropped my hands, breaking our connection, and I could almost breathe again. "Is this your idea of staying under the radar?" I asked him brokenly. "Of not drawing attention to ourselves? Do you have ANY idea how much trouble we're in?"

"I guess I don't see it that way," he said, his breathing a little more normal now, too.

"Obviously. Wanna explain that?"

Daniel shrugged, turning back toward the cover of the railing. He adjusted himself, just as I needed to. My dick was throbbing and so hard right then, I was sure I could pound nails. _God, I really need to get off.   
_  
"This doesn't seem like such a bad place to spend the rest of my life," he said. "Especially if I had you to spend it with."

I got right up close to him and hissed, "I didn't come here to play house with you, mister, so get that thought out of your head _right now;_ we are NOT staying here. Is that clear?"

He turned his head to look at me, his expression as cool as a cucumber, which just made me wanna fuck that smug look right off his face. "Crystal. _Sir."_

The next morning, I called yet another team meeting to make sure we were all working toward the same goal. "Okay, kids, what do we have, and what do we need?" We'd done this exercise a bunch of times in the thirty-four days we'd been there, but it never hurt to take another barometer reading once in a while.

"We need the stargate, O'Neill."

I smiled; what a straight man. "Very astute, my Jaffa friend; do we need anything else?"

"Well, once we get to the mainland, we're gonna need a place to stay, and money for food and stuff, like... various supplies and you know, _things..."_ Carter trailed off, but she'd made her point quite clearly. Girl stuff.

"Ah. Yes. Supplies and such. We're really low on cash; employment ideas?"

"Well, our educational degrees won't get us squat, but we have all the underlying skills," she suggested.

"Somehow, I doubt they've got many high-level openings in either theoretical astrophysics or archeology that we can just step into," Daniel said wryly from the floor, where he was sitting tying his boots.

"Probably not," she grinned, "but I worked in a pizza joint in my senior year of high school, and you're doing great so far as a chef!"

"Chef," Daniel snorted. I should remember this whenever I need a moment of rational thought. Daniel. Snorts. It's not an attractive thing to witness. "Y'know, I never figured my ability to boil water could someday be parlayed into an exciting new career," he mused sarcastically while stuffing the loose ends of his laces inside the top of his boots. "I really love standing on my feet, slaving over a hot stove all day, and then coming home at night smelling like onions."

"They have onions?" I asked. Reflex. I kept forgetting I wasn't speaking to him.

"Well, they call them 'ciporros', and they're blue," he replied, almost smiling, and right there went the rest of my resolve not to speak to him. "But they sure smell like onions to me."

"We must all have a better understanding of the language and culture of this place, so that we do not inadvertently violate their customs," Teal'c said, getting us seamlessly back on track.

"Yeah," Daniel agreed. "The grammatical structure of the Taregan language is remarkably similar to Spanish or Italian. Nouns are either masculine or feminine, the majority of the verbs seem to conjugate normally, and so on. Actually easier to learn than English. I've been mulling over some ideas for more intensive lessons; we can come back here after breakfast and get started on that. Picking up the language conversationally will be easy, but the reading and writing's gonna take longer. We're gonna need to find jobs that don't rely heavily on that side of it."

"There is the matter of my symbiote," Teal'c intoned with quiet dignity. "It will reach full maturity in approximately two years; if I am not able to procure another in that time, I will eventually be overtaken; toward the end, the pain I experience will be horrific and impossible to hide. Worse, as the time nears, there is a great probability that my symbiote will attempt to take one of you as its host. Well before that time, you must be prepared to kill us both, so that does not happen; I will instruct you as to the most efficient method to use. You will then need to dispose of my body most thoroughly."

"It won't come to that, T," I assured him quietly. I glanced toward Daniel to make sure he got the message. From the creases between his eyebrows, I figured he did. "We'll be off this planet long before that happens."

"Y'know, I've been thinking," Carter said, quietly breaking the heavy silence. "These people are way too sophisticated and technologically advanced to worship us as gods, but from what I've seen so far, I don't think they're far enough ahead of us to just disregard us as non-threatening, either, like the Tollan or the Asgard. Their gate obviously hadn't been used for hundreds of years, so they haven't gotten their technology from someone else. And considering how remote and inaccessible the gate's location was, they'd probably never even seen it before, let alone have any idea what it might be used for. If they haven't even begun space travel, why would they be xenophobic?"

"Everybody's afraid of little green men, Carter," I said, "Think about it. What would current Earth people do if four people showed up, claiming to be from another planet, with weapons and clothes made of materials obviously not of our world? What if they showed up in a country that had no knowledge of the stargate and aliens, like Belgium or Japan or Louisiana?"

She thought about that, probably deciding whether or not to correct me about Louisiana, then said, "They'd either lock them up as crazy, or lock them up as an advance team from their enemies, or lock them up as aliens..."

"Key word there, Carter, is 'lock 'em up'."

"That is, in fact, three words, O'Neill."

"You're mister helpful today, Teal'c; do you have a suggestion?"

"I do not."

"Daniel?"

"Yeah, the same suggestion I had a month ago. Stop hiding, and ask them nicely to put the gate back so we can go home. Mention we'd like to trade for the Geektonite if they look the least bit receptive."

"Let me remind you," I said tightly, "that they came back and leveled the quadrant the gate was in, Daniel. All the plant and animal life within probably a fifteen-mile radius. Gone. These people are jumpy, all right, and we're not gonna get the gate back till we can convince somebody in charge we're either dangerous as hell, and they better do as we say, or we're so innocent butter wouldn't melt in our mouths, so they'll want to tell us where they took it so we can get home ourselves."

*****

I'm edgy and the music's getting on my nerves. The two men I've been watching have each left with other people before I could get up the guts to make a move on either of them. I need to get back to our room so I can spend a couple of minutes of quality time in the bathroom with my right hand; I'm so horny right now, I can't think straight. _God,_ Jack's a stubborn SOB! "Tell me again why we're here?" I snap.

"You wanted to get outta the house," Jack replies levelly, then shrugs for good measure. "We're out." He scoops up another handful of this planet's version of beer nuts and tosses one into the air, catching it in his mouth. Gee, juvenile, much? "I'm havin' fun," he deadpans. "Aren't you?"

I think about it for a minute and decide that killing him here in the bar wouldn't be prudent, so I set about finding other people to watch in the now more crowded bar.

I've never liked being alone; spent way too much of my life feeling isolated, even in a ward full of other kids, and I'm feeling pretty alone right now. Is it wrong to want to be close to someone? To want to be important to them?

If I were feeling charitable, I'd take half the blame for this predicament. Not the stranded off-world part, that's nobody's fault. The other stuff, though... I guess I could've kept my mouth shut about the vibes I'd been getting from Jack back on Earth, but what the hell for? We're fifty-two days into this, and our chances of getting home aren't looking any better than they did on day one; why keep pretending the attraction's not there?

Except now that I've confirmed he wants me, even without him actually admitting it, the tension between us is unbearable. And god help me, I think I've fallen in love with him.

Sha're's gone; I think I probably knew that three years ago, but I was too much of a coward to admit it. As long as we were looking for her, I wasn't really, _technically,_ alone. Jack doesn't have anyone either; if he'd been seeing someone seriously, I'd've known; we spend too much time together for me not to have noticed.

It really seemed like a reasonable equation to me; we're both single now, and we're stuck here, why couldn't we try being alone together? Maybe here, where there're no military regs and no cultural prohibitions against it, why the hell not? We like spending time together, he's obviously bi, and I'm willing to try it out. _Shit,_ it's not like I'm asking for a ring or anything.

I spent the entire thirteen-day cruise from the fishing village _throwing_ myself at him, and he won't. He just won't. I know he wants me; I've known it for a while. All I can figure to explain his reluctance to have sex with me is that I'm inexperienced. So, being stranded on a planet where same sex relationships aren't a problem seemed like the perfect time to get some.

We've been here on the mainland for a little more than a week. By the time the cruise ended, we could all carry on a decent conversation in our new language with reasonable fluency. Jack used most of the currency we had left to rent a single motel room for a week, and the rest of us snuck in under cover of darkness.

Teal'c got a job the very next morning, working at a nearby construction site, lifting block. Not a lot of conversation needed, and he was paid a decent amount daily in cash.

With a helpful recommendation from the galley master of the ship, I was able to get a job that same night in a swanky restaurant in the city as a cook. The cool part is being able to bring leftovers home, so we don't have to spend any of our hard-earned money on food. Unfortunately, with no way to warm the food, everybody has to eat it cold, but hey- beggars and all that.

I brought Sam with me the next day, and she was hired on the spot as a waitress; we used Teal'c's first day's pay to buy her a couple of uniforms and some make-up and other girl stuff.

That just left Jack.

Yesterday afternoon, I was waiting for Sam to finish getting ready for work while Jack sat at the small table in our hotel room, flipping through the newspaper, which I insist they all read every day for practice. "I'm the only one not working," he pouted. "I feel like a pimp."

"Sir?"

"Carter, you've got to stop calling me 'sir'!"

"Why?" I asked.

"What d'ya mean 'why'?" he frowned.

"Well, as long as she says it in English, who but the four of us is going to understand it? I mean, for all anyone knows, she could be saying 'sweetheart'." I love that look Jack gets when he realizes I've got him.

Sam grinned and purred, "Siiiiirrrr?"

Morale was still good, so that was something, I guess. "All right, you two," Jack scowled in fun, "you can stop double-teaming me now."

I grinned too. "Why, when it's so much fun?"

"Which is all beside the point," Jack growled in a little bit less fun as he pushed the newspaper across the table at me. "Here; find me a job!"

I looked up at Sam, and she had a twinkle in her eye. "Oh, I dunno," I said seriously, pushing the paper back to him, "I kinda like him being our sugar daddy, don't you, Sam?"

"Okay! That's enough!" Jack decreed. His eyes narrowed, and he checked his watch. I know he's expecting Teal'c home any minute; he keeps careful track of all of us. "As your pimp, I'm reminding you it's time for both of you to get to work."

"We've got some time," I said easily, opening the paper to the job section to start leisurely perusing it. "Besides, Granille will cover for me if I'm late."

"Granille?" Jack asked.

_Gotcha._ I continued to skim the listings as if I hadn't noticed his annoyed interest. "Yeah, he's got something of a crush on me."

Jack grunted and looked over his shoulder at Sam. "And you?"

She smiled, putting the finishing touches on her makeup. "They all think I'm sleeping with Daniel."

"Oh, for cryin' out loud, what kind of hedonistic society have we fallen into here?"

"A polyamorous one," I replied, glad he'd taken the bait. "It seemed like the extra insurance of knowing _two_ men were looking out for her would be a good idea."

"Two?"

"Teal'c made an appearance," I replied offhandedly, "looking especially scary."

"Oh. Well, good for him."

"I don't see anything in here for you," I said, folding the paper back up. "Let me talk to the guys at the restaurant and see if I can get any leads on something suited to your many talents."

Jack squinted, not entirely sure what I was driving at, which was the way I wanted it, and he dropped the subject. "How're you doing with the other waitresses?" he asked Sam. I know it weirds Jack out, seeing her dressed in something so overtly feminine and different from BDUs, but it seemed to freak him out less than seeing Teal'c with hair, which he couldn't seem to stop harping on.

"Pretty good," Sam replied, brushing out her hair. It's about shoulder-length now and really attractive; it's a shame she couldn't keep it that way on Earth. "They're a gossipy bunch, but I haven't managed to learn anything really useful about the political climate on the planet yet. I've made arrangements to go shopping with a couple of them tomorrow, so besides finding some shoes that don't kill my feet, I might get to meet their significant others, and that could open up some more avenues of discussion. It's really hard trying to work questions about conspiracies and government cover-ups into casual conversation and the special of the day."

She moved closer to Jack and presented him with her backside, much to his blatant discomfiture. "Can you tie me up?" she asked simply. It was pretty funny, especially since I was sure she'd done on purpose. She'd never complained about having to work at a job so far beneath her training and talents, simply doing what needed to be done to try to get by in our new circumstances. She knew I'd gone after Jack, that our antics on the ship were more than just a cover story, and she also knew he'd turned me down flat. She and I don't have any secrets from each other.

Jack cleared his throat. "Ah, sure." He proceeded to tie the little aprony-thing into a bow, but the strings were still waaay longer than her skirt, which seemed to be distracting him. A lot. "Um..."

"Here," I said, grabbing one of the strings and pulling Sam's butt toward me, "I've got it." After it was tied and all the strings the correct length, I swatted her on the ass, just hard enough to make a cool sound, making her squeal as if on cue. Jack's eyes went huge, and I made a mental note to remember to mention his reaction to her later; I know she'll get a kick out of it.

"You getting anything from daytime TV?" I asked innocently, as if I didn't know he was now sporting a huge hard-on.

He cleared his throat. "Ah, yeah. Did you know Judge Wapner's got a younger brother who lives here?" he quipped, "And "Dallas" is still running here apparently, only with full frontal nudity, and every channel is full of that poly-stuff you were talking about."

"So. No CNN?" I asked, knowing full well he understands the correct pronunciation and meaning of polyamorous.

"Not that I've found so far. A lot of what's out there seems to be dealing with some kind of big election, but they've got about six thousand channels, so it's tough going."

"I'll bet. We could always walk into a police station and give ourselves up," I reminded him archly.

"That's not a great suggestion," he replied tightly.

"Face it, Jack, the chances of someone coming into our restaurant of all places and mentioning seeing some kind of aircraft lifting a giant circular object from the frozen tundra headed for secret, Area 51-like experiments is highly unlikely. Sooner or later, we're going to have to come forward."

"You ready for them to start doing those secret experiments on Teal'c?" Jack asked sharply.

"Does he really have much of a choice?" I retorted, my voice rising to match Jack's volume. "Sam told you this planet is so far off the beaten path, the SGC's not going to be able to talk any of our star-travel-capable allies into going this far out of their way to send a ship for us, and even if they did, even if a Tok'ra ship were orbiting the planet _right now,_ what could they do? Teal'c would stand out like a sore thumb on a direct scan, but how long would it take for a ship to scan this entire planet for the tiny signature one Goa'uld larvae gives off?"

"So you're ready to just give up?" He was furious, I could see that, but his voice was deadly calm. Sam was watching, but for now choosing not to get in the middle of it.

"I'm ready to be practical and think in the longer term," I replied firmly. "Four of us living in a tiny space together for almost eight weeks -first in two tents, then the cabin on the ship, and now this motel room- is getting really old. I'm sure we could all use a little privacy, not to mention real beds with pillows. I think we should consider trying to find better accommodations."

Jack looked at Sam, who nodded. "I agree, sir-_Jack."_

"We need to stay together," he insisted.

I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose, trying to keep my annoyance in check. "Fine. Granille told me about a place across town; a walk-down, not in the best neighborhood, but it's got three bedrooms, a small kitchen, and a living room. We'd still have to share a bathroom, but at least we could spread out a little and have some privacy as well as having a way to warm up the leftovers I bring home."

"How much?" Jack asked, clearly dubious.

"Two weeks of my pay a month."

"That's steep."

"Yes, it is, but if we can find work for you, that'll help make up for it." I peered at him over my glasses, because I know it bugs him. "I told Granille I'd look at it with him tomorrow afternoon."

He looked unconvinced, but finally capitulated. "Yeah, fine..."

The next day -was that just this morning? God, I'm so tired of this... Anyway, Sam left on her shopping trip right after breakfast, and Jack and I left Teal'c alone in the motel room, happily Kel-no-reeming. We waited for Granille to pick us up after lunch at a nearby outdoor café. We didn't talk much, but that wasn't really surprising. We'd barely spoken to each alone other since the daylight humping episode on the ship.

I know he's interested. There's no way he could fake a kiss like that, or the way he was squeezing my ass- god! I get hard every time I remember his tongue in my mouth as I rocked my dick against his hip! Another thirty seconds, and I'd've come right there in the open. I've never been kissed like that in my life. Ever.

Sha're'd been quietly sultry, Sarah had been prim and reluctantly responsive once I got her wound up, and Tanya, the chem major at UCLA, had been terribly informative and eager, which was perfect for my first time. But the tongue I'd had in my mouth that night out on deck had a life of its own. It was pure male-- overwhelming, authoritative, and dangerously erotic. I wanted more, and would've continued to go after it, if he'd've given me half a chance. But he made it a point to make sure either Sam or Teal'c was with him all the time during the rest of the cruise, like some kind of Amish chaperone.

We spent the next ten days or so glaring at each other and then jerking off alone in the shower. I think Sam and Teal'c would've preferred to be left out of it, because they were clearly starting to find each other fascinating in ways they never had before. I wish them well; there aren't any rules that say Majors and Jaffa can't fraternize, so more power to 'em. I wish it were that simple for Jack and me.

When Granille showed up to take us to see the apartment, Jack was not on his best behavior. Granille tried to be polite and include him in our conversation, but Jack was mister one-syllable, so eventually, we just started ignoring him.

Granille showed us around the apartment, not being shy about touching me. The people on this world don't have personal space issues like we do on Earth and are very touchy-feely. Jack used to be that way with me back in the beginning, and I find being with Granille makes me remember all the times Jack wasn't afraid to be close to me. Now that we've finally addressed the sexual feelings between us, he's suddenly colder than ever toward me. Regulations, no doubt.

I haven't tried to get Granille to stop being tactile with me, because I'm starting to like it. He's built like Jack, tall and slender, but where Jack is harder, more densely muscled, Granille is finer-boned. Still, his hands are warm and gentle, and he's a decent kisser.

Jack didn't miss Granille's familiarity with me. I saw him staring whenever Granille put his hand on my arm, or down low on my back as we walked through the rooms of the apartment.

At one point, as Granille and I were looking out the small, sidewalk-level windows in the front room, Jack insinuated himself between us, firmly taking my hand in his. //So, Granola,// he said, deliberately mangling my friend's name. //How'd you know this place was available?//

//Granille,// I corrected him tightly. I hate it when Jack plays dumb. His grip on my hand wasn't nice either; he was squeezing my fingers with all the anger he wasn't letting show on his face.

//Sorry about that,// Jack smiled solicitously. //I'm terrible with names.// He dropped my hand in favor of throwing his arm across my shoulder in a tacky display of possessiveness.

//Not at all. This place belongs to a friend of mine who will be out of the country for the next year on business. He asked me to take care of it for him.// Granille smiled, as he eyed our body language. //Am I to understand you two are a couple? Daniel, you didn't tell me you were with someone.//

I rolled my eyes as I felt myself coloring, surprised Jack didn't just lift his leg and piss on me. His smirk made me furious, and I shrugged him off. //It's not anything formalized, it's actually a very casual thing.// I stepped away so Jack couldn't land on me again.

//I didn't realize the rooms came furnished,// I said, changing the subject. //Will that cost more?//

//No, the furnishings are included in the price I quoted you.//

I glanced over at Jack, who was glaring at me for pushing him away. Served him right; jealous boyfriend, indeed. //I think we should take it,// I said, daring him to contradict me.

But he was just full of surprises. His face smiled, but it was for show, because I could see that the warmth didn't reach his eyes. //Yeah, it's good. When can we move in, Granille?//

Granille pulled a metal card from his pocket and held it out to me. //Right away.//

Jack overreached me and took the offered keycard as I pulled a wad of Teal'c's pay from my front pocket. //I haven't had a chance to get a bank card yet; will you take cash for the first payment?//

//Of course. Will you need help moving in?// Granille asked me, completely ignoring the fact that Jack was even in the room with us.

//No thanks, Grano-Granille,// Jack butted in. //We don't have a lot of stuff. I think we can manage just fine.// Jack forced another smile, which made no impression whatsoever on the back of Granille's head, because Granille was looking at me.

//Very well then. I'll see you at the restaurant, Daniel.// Granille moved right past Jack, took me into his arms, and proceeded to kiss me on the mouth.

I could hear Jack subtly clearing his throat somewhere in the room, but Granille didn't let it speed up the kiss any. His lips were warm and soft, and his kiss was quite tender. Not our first, by any means. The people of this planet are very friendly and loving, and I could really get used to all the freely shared affection.

When the kiss finally ended, Granille asked me softly, //Do you want a ride back to your hotel?//

I shook my head and touched his cheek gently. //No, thanks. It's a beautiful day for a walk.//

//As you wish. Goodbye, Daniel.//

//Bye, Granille.//

After Granille had let himself out, I walked right past Jack to the bedroom area as if nothing at all had happened. Nothing really had; it was just a kiss, as is their custom. He wasn't hard, I wasn't hard, it wasn't a prelude to anything, just friendship. I suspected Jack wouldn't see it that way, but it wasn't really my problem anymore, was it?

"How do you want to split up the rooms?" I asked evenly. "Two really small ones and one slightly bigger one-"

"You let him kiss you," Jack accused me, eyes blazing.

"Yes, I did," I agreed absently. Some lessons are harder to learn than others, and this one wouldn't be easy for either of us. "If Sam takes the one with the ridiculous orange wallpaper, and we let Teal'c have the one with the green trim, we could take the bed out of his, since he doesn't sleep anyway, and squeeze it into the larger room, and you and I could take that one." I turned to face Jack then, noticing something dark clouding his face; something he was struggling to keep in check.

"Or does sharing a room with me, even with separate beds make you uncomfortable?" I asked, because suddenly, the silence and his disapproving glare were too hard to take. "Teal'c really does need solitude, though," I prattled on. "Would you rather share with Sam, and I'll take the one with the ridiculous orange-" My words finally trailed off. I couldn't ignore his furious expression any longer, although I'd rather have been anywhere than right there at that moment. "Don't worry," I whispered, because I couldn't make my voice work any louder than that, "you're a much better kisser."

When I couldn't take his silence and laser-like gaze anymore, I stepped back down the short hallway to get a better look at the only bathroom. "We're going to need to buy a few towels. There are only two in here-"

"Daniel!"

"Yeah?"

"We talked about this-"

Stupidly, I decided to take the dense route. I frowned and headed for the kitchen "Talked about...?"

Jack rolled his eyes. "Keeping a lid on your libido."

"My libido isn't any of your concern," I snapped. My mouth had a mind of its own, and my pain was pushing words past my lips before I could stop them. "You turned me down, remember? More than once and not very nicely, as I recall."

The kitchen had this planet's version of a microwave, a small sink, and a dorm-sized refrigerator, not really big enough for anything but beverages. It didn't take long to take a mental inventory, but I continued to poke around, just so I wouldn't have to look at him. "I can probably sneak some flatware from the restaurant, but we'll need to actually buy some inexpensive plates and glasses, I think."

Jack grabbed my shoulder and spun me around. "You've got to stop playing around, Daniel!"

From out of nowhere, the pain turned to anger, and I jerked away from his touch and yelled, "I'm not _playing around_, Jack. Granille's a nice man, and he seems to like me. I've spent the last three and a half years in mourning for Sha're, and now she's dead. I'm just trying to get on with my life the best way I know how!"

"Yeah, I noticed that. Her body was hardly cold before you'd started up with Ke'ra, right? That wasn't a very smart move either-"

Okay, that was low. "I seem to have a problem picking men, too," I snapped, "The very first one I make a pass at turns out to be quite an asshole!"

"You and I canNOT have sex; I've explained that to you!"

"But it doesn't make any sense, Jack; how will you and I _not_ sleeping together, get Teal'c home any faster?"

"You're being dense again, Daniel."

"Yeah, that's it, _I'm_ dense." Right then, I wanted to hurt him. I wanted him to bleed inside, like I do every time he pushes me away. "Well, don't worry about Granille, Jack, he's taking it slow. It's a cultural thing, I've found out. They're very affectionate people, and not the least bit afraid to show their feelings for someone in public. But it's all been just kissing and light petting so far. I don't think he's ready to go all the way yet. I'm sure he'll be gentle, considering it's my first time, and unless I'm reading my signals wrong, I don't think he's strictly a top, either."

I turned my back on him and opened each drawer, pretending to examine the contents and then slamming each one shut again. I could feel his eyes searing holes into my back.

His voice was a low growl that sent unfortunate shivers up my spine. "Daniel, I can't believe I have to remind you that we're still on a mission. We're trying to lay low here-" I could tell that the minute the words were out of his mouth he regretted them. "I meant-"

"I know what you meant," I said sadly. "Low profile. I get it. I won't slip in a moment of passion and tell him I'm an alien on his world, I promise."

"I don't want you to get that friendly with him, period."

"And why do you think my love life is any of your business?"

"I'm your CO, Daniel; that _makes_ it my business."

God – he was the epitome of a broken record! I counted off on my fingers. "We're not on Earth anymore, and we're never going to be able to _get_ back to Earth, so the whole 'you're in charge of every aspect of my life' thing is pretty much a moot point, I'd say. Why don't you try the 'daddy' act on someone else?"

"That's enough!"

"It sure as hell is." I pushed past him and scooped my jacket off the couch, heading for the door. "I've had it up to here with you! You don't want me, but you don't want anyone _else_ wanting me? How fucking childish is that?"

I didn't get two strides before Jack was grabbing my arm and spinning me around to face him. "Now you listen to _me_," he hissed, slamming me back up against the wall and getting in my face. For some sick, twisted reason, I was instantly hard. "We may be stranded on this godforsaken backwater hellhole for the time being, but we _will_ be getting outta here, and we _will_ be getting back home. And in the meantime, we are _still_ an SG unit, and I am _still_ your CO!"

"Which _still_ doesn't give you the right to regulate my social life!"

"I can't believe this! You're acting like some sex-starved teenager!"

"Why? Because I don't want to be alone anymore? Because a little affection might be nice once in a while?"

"This is about Sha're, isn't it?"

Okay, I need him to get off that subject. "Don't-"

"I'm not. It's a valid point, Daniel, but it's also no reason to start screwing everything that moves."

"Get OFF me!" I growled, bringing my arms up and then out, dislodging Jack's hold on me. "I'm a grown man, Jack; I don't need your permission to have sex with someone!"

"You're putting yourself and the team at risk, Daniel, and you _know_ that; what the hell's the matter with you?

I didn't answer him; I was too busy trying not to remember the feel of his hands on me, even in anger, and being ashamed.

"Look, once we get home-"

"'Home' won't make a goddamned bit of difference," I snapped, stalking away from him so I could think. Was I supposed to say it all out loud, so he could continue to belittle me? That I was missing my wife, who's been lost to me for years, but who's technically only freshly dead? That in some sick, confounded mixture of grief and gratitude, I'd made one of the biggest mistakes of my life by taking to bed the next pretty woman I met? It wasn't like she'd been the Destroyer of Worlds or anything, I mused glumly. And even if she hadn't been, fucking her hadn't helped my pain, hadn't eased my loneliness, or my guilt for having failed Sha're for all those years. It'd just made me feel dirty.

"It doesn't matter anymore. None of it does." I moved toward the door again. "Just leave me alone, Jack. I don't feel like talking."

Courtesy of Special Ops, he was behind me without a sound, his hand firm but friendly on my shoulder. "How 'bout we go out for a drink?" His voice was soft and concerned, and bore no sign of his inner asshole.

God... _why doesn't he want me? Why can't he love me like I love him?_ "What happened to 'laying low'?" I asked out loud. I felt broken in ways too numerous to count, and I didn't want to fight anymore.

"We'll just have a couple," Jack said softly. "You need to get out. I'll be the designated driver."

I wanted to lean back against him and have him put his arms around me. I wanted him to hold me so tightly I'd have trouble breathing, and then I wanted him to whisper loving words into my ear. "We don't have a car," I replied weakly, knowing most of the fight had gone out of me.

His large warm hand squeezed my shoulder, and that simple gesture tore my heart out by the roots. "I'll be the designated walker, then. C'mon."

*****

So here I am, sitting here in an alien bar, watching Daniel, who's three sheets to the wind and blatantly sizing up men to approach for sex. Am I in the Twilight Zone, or what? What might be worse, yet somehow morally superior, he asked _me_ for sex first, and I turned him down.

I. Turned. Him. Down.

Repeatedly.

How many kinds of idiot does that make me?

There are rules out the wazoo about Daniel and me getting it on, so no matter how many times he asks, moans, or rubs himself against me, I gotta keep saying no. And how fucking fair is that? God! I just wanna-

I wanna stop thinking about it, that's all. All of it. I am so screwed.

We've been here on the planet for fifty-two days now, Earth time, and all we've done so far is survive. We still have no clue where the gate's been taken or why, although from what I've learned about their politics from watching daytime TV, there's no doubt in my mind these folks are going to be less than enthusiastic about the whole 'we are not alone' theme when they find four aliens in their midst, one of whom's noticeably more alien than the others. Daniel's fluent in the language now, and the rest of us all have a decent command of it, but Teal'c's a ticking time bomb, no two ways about it. We've got to find a way home, or he's gonna die; it's as simple as that.

I know Daniel's serious about getting on with his life; he's been sporting that hungry look off and on since we landed here, just like after Sha're died, and everybody on the base knows how well _that_ turned out. Ke'ra -a perky, dimply amnesiac- showed up the week after we buried Daniel's wife, and Daniel fell into bed with her almost immediately, like she was some kind of rebound Barbie. Except Barbie turned out to be the Wicked Witch of the West, and just, ewww.

I can't afford for Daniel to get ideas like that here; there's too much at stake. It's gonna take all of us to find the gate and convince whoever took it to let us dial it up and go home. Everybody's got to be committed to getting there, or it won't happen.

I know what's eating Daniel isn't gonna get solved either soon or sober. He's about done with his third drink, so that takes care of the sober part. If I can just get him back on track thinking about finding the gate instead of finding someone to fuck him, maybe things can get back to normal. It looks like the booze has done the job of loosening him up, so I start my spiel.

"I need you to understand where I'm coming from, Daniel," I say as gently as I can. "I'm your CO, and it has to stay that way."

Daniel's eyes are blazing with passion. "Oh, believe me, I completely understand where you're coming from, as you so quaintly put it. You're so far in denial, it's not even remotely funny. You may believe the 'I can only be your CO' line of bullshit, Jack, but your body tells a different story. You have my word I won't mention it again, though. Believe me, I'm no more fond of rejection than the next guy, and you've rejected me pretty soundly." He downs the rest of his drink and sets the glass down hard. "Let's go."

I snake an arm out and grab his, keeping him from rising. "I don't know what you think you understand, Daniel, but whatever it is, it's not the issue here. We've got to find out where they took the gate, so we can get home!"

Daniel yanks his arm free, his face a mask of anger bordering on hatred. "Which has nothing whatso_ever_ to do with you and me! I want this; you want this. This culture permits it. What's the fucking _problem?"_

"Yes, I want it!" I hiss, _this_ close to belting him in the mouth. Daniel's got a way of picking and picking until the scab comes off, and he's just picked once too often on this particular sore. "I want it probably more than you know. But I have a responsibility, Daniel. To this team, to the SGC. It's my responsibility to get us home however I can. The minute I lose sight of that, the minute I give up, I'm signing Teal'c's death warrant. If we don't get off this planet, he dies, and I can't accept that!"

He's leaning over the table now, getting in my face as much as he can and still be sitting down. "I'm not arguing with that; I don't want Teal'c to die either! What I don't understand is what that's got to do with you and me sleeping together!"

"God you're really playing the dense academic here, aren't ya? Once I fuck you, Daniel, everything changes."

"WHY?"

"Because like it or not, we're still on a mission here. You have heard of don't ask/don't tell, right? Fucking a member of my team while on a mission is a betrayal of my oath and about six kinds of federal offense; once we do find the gate, I'll face charges when I go back."

"So we won't go back. We'll send Teal'c and Sam through, and you and I'll stay here."

I know my mouth's hanging open, I can feel the breeze. But what can I say to that? Clearly, he's lost his fucking mind.

"I mean, really; what's there to go back for?" he demands.

"Oh, I don't know. How about fighting the Goa'uld?"

"I've spent three and a half years fighting them; I lost my wife to them. Haven't I given enough?"

"Sha're's child is still out there. Didn't you tell me she asked you to find him, keep him safe from them?"

"I don't even know if any of that was real!"

"Are you willing to take that chance?"

No hesitation. "For you, yes. Are _you?"_

When I don't answer right away, I see all the life, all the hope drain from his face. And suddenly, he looks frighteningly sober. "I guess that answers my question, then." He looks away, trying to collect himself, then says flatly, "I'll do whatever I can to help you find the gate so you guys can get home, but I won't be coming with you."

*****

I wasn't as hung over this morning as I thought I'd be after the three drinks I had last night. Which is a blessing, I guess; the situation between Jack and I is hard to take cold sober and in good health, I can't imagine how horrible it'd be to try and deal with him with a pounding headache.

Sam and Teal'c helped us get moved in with our few belongings before they left for the day. Sam got a couple of leads from her shopping excursion yesterday and the two of them went to check them out. I'm inclined to think they weren't unhappy to get away from Jack and I, considering how thick the tension is between us right now.

"Will you just listen-"

"It doesn't matter, Jack. Let it go." I should've tried reverse psychology weeks ago. Now that I've told Jack I'm not going to bring up our having sex again, that's all he can seem to talk about.

"Daniel..."

"Okay, you want to help me? Then help me figure out where I went wrong with you. It'll be like doing a postmortem on a mission, so I know what to do differently with the next guy I try to seduce."

"Oh, for cryin' out-"

"Do I act too feminine for you?"

"What?"

"Too masculine? That seems rather unlikely, but-"

"Stop it!"

"Is Granille more your type?"

"No!"

"The guy at the food store?"

"Whatshisname, Hector-something? No way."

"How about the blonde guy I was sucking face with on the ship? He was more muscular than me; is that what you look for in a sexual partner? The macho, Jack O'Neill type?"

He starts to walk away from me, muttering, "This is ridiculous..."

But I'm just getting started. "Then what?" I call after him, "What kind of man _is_ your type, Jack?"

He spins around, furious. _"You!_ Okay? Happy now? _You're_ my perfect type!"

I'm not actually surprised at the answer, but I am surprised he admitted it. "I see."

"Oh, what _now?"_ he grimaces.

"If I'm the right type... then it must be something about me personally that turns you off."

"You don't turn me off, Daniel! In fact, I walk around in a nearly perpetual state of turned on because of you! I have for a while."

Okay, that confirms my theory, but it still doesn't wash. "Then why-"

"Because we could never work together again, that's why!"

"But that doesn't make-" But then it does. It makes perfect, ugly sense, and I'm so stunned I can hardly breathe. "Oh, I get it now. Once you fuck me, you won't be able to be around me, knowing I let you do that. It's not a loving thing at all with you, is it? You've never cared anything about the men you've had sex with. You don't even like them. You lose respect for them once you've had them, and you can't bear to look at them anymore... I'm so stupid, I don't know why I didn't see that before."

Jack's ashamed, I see, hearing it spelled out that way, as well he should be. He's a colder, more calculating man than I ever could've believed, and realizing that has suddenly changed everything for me. He and I could never have had a relationship of any kind. Not even a strictly sexual one. Because to him, men aren't for loving, they're just for fucking. Once.

Well. This has certainly been enlightening in an agonizing, puke-my-guts-up kinda way. I don't know why I'm not feeling crushed or sad or something; maybe I will later; I just feel numb right now. There's really only one thing left to do. I start disrobing.

Jack looks up, startled by the sudden movement, I guess. "What the hell are you doing?" He looks panicked.

I toss my shirt on the couch and kick off my shoes, then unbuckle my belt to take off my pants. "I want you to fuck me," I say calmly. "I want to know how two men love each other. I've thought about it, and I understand the ramifications. Don't worry, once we do it, I'll pack up my stuff and be on my way; you won't ever have to look at me again."

"I... I don't-"

"It's pretty simple, really," I say, ignoring his obvious discomfort while bending over to take off my socks. "I want to know what it's like, and you're right, it's a pretty vulnerable situation to be in with a virtual stranger; I think I'd be safer if the first time I do it, it's with someone I know. Someone I trust." I drop my boxers and I'm naked now, and my dick's hanging limply between my legs because I'm terrified. I casually clasp my hands in front of me, hoping he can't see how badly they're shaking. "Where do you want me?"

Jack closes his eyes and dips his head a bit. He obviously can't even bear to look at me. "I want you safe back at the SGC; I want us never to have come to this god-awful place. I want this conversation never to have happened."

"Well, too bad. We're here, and I'm naked. What's next?"

"Put your clothes back on, Daniel," he says harshly. "We're not doing this; not this way."

The doorbell rings just then, and he goes to answer it, leaving me standing naked in the back of the living room. He only opens the door a tiny bit and blocks the opening with his body, but I can hear Granille's voice.

//Is Daniel home?//

//No, he's not, Granille. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm real busy-//

I move, so I'm in plain sight of the tiny sliver of open doorway. I see Granille's eyes catch my movement, and he's looking over Jack's shoulder at me. A huge grin spreads over his face.

//Daniel! You're so beautiful!// He looks back at Jack, and his smile broadens. //You were loving one another! Wonderful! May I join you?// Pushing his way past an utterly astonished Jack, he takes me into his arms, kissing me deeply.

I can't bring myself to hold him, and my arms hang limply at my sides. He breaks the kiss and proceeds to distribute more wet kisses across my jaw and down the side of my neck while I just stand there. Jack's furious gaze is locked with my sad one as Granille continues to caress me with his hands and his mouth. He's not mauling me, but my nudity has apparently given him implied permission to touch my body in all kinds of intimate and personal ways. One of his large hands cups my left buttock and he massages it, holding my right hipbone as he licks at the base of my throat.

"Hey!" Jack starts, then switches to Taregan as he crosses the room in about three strides. //Knock it off, Granille! What the fuck do you think you're doing?// There's murder in Jack's eyes as he pulls Granille away from me.

The poor man looks pretty confused. //But he wears nothing, surely this means he wishes to be petted, to engage in a sexual joining?//

//NO, he does NOT!// Jack shouts, his face red with anger.

//Yes he does,// I counter softly.

Jack glares at me, eyes narrowed, nostrils flaring. It's English that comes spitting out this time. "Is this really what you want? _Him?"_ I've never seen Jack so angry.

Strangely, as nervous as I was before, I'm utterly calm now. "No. I want _you. _ But you've made it very clear you don't want me. _He_ does." Sadly, I take Granille's hand and lead him to the bedroom, closing the door quietly behind us.

//Will Jack not be joining us?// Granille asks, baffled by the strange not-quite relationship Jack and I seem to have. _Join the club,_ I think grimly.

//No, Granille, he won't.// I set my glasses on the table between the beds and lay down on my side on my bed -the one nearest the door- and watch as he hurriedly disrobes. Once he's also nude, he lays down next to me, and I can feel the warmth coming off his aroused body, even though he hasn't touched anything but my face yet.

I don't know what Jack's doing out in the living room, but I imagine him standing just where we left him, staring at the closed bedroom door. I wonder if he's going to just wait out there and listen to us having sex. The thought flickers through my mind that what I really want is for him to storm in and throw Granille out into the street, take me into his arms and tell me he's sorry, he's been an ass, and he really does love me. But I know that won't happen. That kind of happy ending only comes in romance novels and bad, made-for-Lifetime movies, and we're so far from living one of those, it isn't funny.

Suddenly, I hear the front door slam shut, and whatever'd been letting me stay calm and detached through this fugue state finally shatters. I feel the sting of tears and don't try to stop them rolling down the sides of my face and pooling in my ears as Granille takes me into his arms and starts making love to me, whispering things I don't even really hear. I let him have my body, because it doesn't matter anymore, but my heart certainly isn't in it.

Granille continues to stroke and kiss and pet me, murmuring words of affection and encouragement as he pleasures my body tenderly with his soft hands and eager mouth. I nod occasionally and respond to his kisses, but am otherwise unmoved; it's like I'm watching these things being done to someone else. Granille's already excited, and he's big. Uncut, and really, really, big. I gulp back my fear and close my eyes. Maybe I can pretend it's Jack touching me, being careful with me, loving me...

But that's not what it is for Jack, I tell myself; it's just sex to him. On the other hand, I can feel that Granille has a genuine affection for me. And although I know I'll probably never feel anything more than friendship for him, I try to convince myself that this is just a means to an end. Learning what's involved so that when I finally find someone I can love who'll care for me, too, I'll be ready. I'll know what to do, what to expect, and I'll be able to make it good for him. For both of us. I'm taking mental notes on everything this man does to me.

I guess we've been at it about ten minutes, and Granille's still licking me. He'd spent some time playing with each of my nipples and his tongue dipped into my navel for a little while. I can feel drops of wetness from his cock as his lightly hairy body slides against mine, and it's cold when the air hits the dampness. Parting my thighs with one large hand, he goes for the backs of my knees, tickling them in a rather annoying way with the tip of his tongue. He's skipped right over my groin; I guess he'll work his way back up to that eventually.

Soon, I feel him settling between my legs and his tongue makes long, wet swipes as it bathes the insides of my thighs, then the crease so perilously close to my balls. He cups my sac loosely in one hand while his mouth begins to fondle it, his tongue lapping and stroking, then taking one of my testicles into his mouth, moving it about with his tongue as he sucks on it gently.

Jack had said it was painful for the one who bottoms, and I guess we'll get to that part soon enough. What Granille's done so far hasn't hurt. It's an odd feeling, really, terribly intimate, bordering on nasty, and I think I should be finding this arousing, but I don't. I tell myself it shouldn't matter whose mouth is on my limp cock, it should feel good, I should be getting hard as he suckles me, trying to coax my dick to fullness. I've always liked it when my partners have gone down on me, but this doesn't feel like that at all. It's no more erotic than a medical exam; it feels mechanical, sterile. Joyless.

I don't know why I thought I'd enjoy having sex with a man; everything about this feels completely wrong.

*****

I stand staring at the closed bedroom door for a full minute, not believing what I'd just seen. My naked linguist was going to let that Granola-guy fuck him. When the words finally catch up to my brain in some kind of logical order, it's the pronoun that finally gets me moving. _'My'_ linguist? When did I start thinking of Daniel as 'mine'?

I grab my jacket and head for the door. If Daniel wants to get laid that bad, who am I to stop him? He's not 'my' anything; he works for me, nothing more. Maybe once he gets his rocks off, I tell myself angrily, he'll be able to concentrate on finishing the mission; on finding the gate and getting back home.

But then I remember him saying he's not coming home with us even when we do find the gate. Okay, I'm thinkin' that's fine, too. He wants to stay there and play house with Granola, that's just fucking fine by me.

I storm my way to the bar we found last night and order their version of a double whisky. As I gulp half of it down, I wonder if Daniel's gonna be considerate enough to turn on the porch light or something when Granola leaves, so I'll know it's safe to come back home. I certainly don't wanna get back too soon and get an earful when he pops Daniel's cherry--

God _damn_ it! Why the hell did he have to pick NOW to decide to be sexually adventurous? Watching him standing there, letting that guy grope him... I don't know how I kept from killing him. Or Granola, either, for that matter. I don't know how all this got so out of hand; I shouldn't care who Daniel sleeps with at all, male or female.

But I _do_ care, and it's eating me up inside. I knock back the rest of the drink and order another.

When we found Ke'ra and her people on Vyus, all of a sudden Daniel was smiling like I've never seen him smile before and being attentive instead of clueless, opening doors for her, holding her hand as they went through the wormhole, touching her back... I wanted to snap her neck. And that was _before_ Carter figured out the bitch was probably Linea.

I told myself then I had no right to feel that way, and I'd thought I was controlling it at the time. But on the ship, Daniel said he'd known then I was jealous of her. I'd told him he was full of it. _Jealous boyfriend, my ass._ Shit - I'm forty-seven years old! _But that's certainly how this feels right now, doesn't it, asshole?_ You're jealous. Granille had his hands and his mouth all over Daniel's nude body, and Daniel was letting him.

Granille's fucking Daniel _right now,_ and there's not a goddamn thing I can do to stop it.

Which is a complete and total lie, of course. I could've done what Daniel wanted, and taken him to bed myself. I'd've made it good for him. I'd've been gentle with him, taken my time. Made sure he enjoyed everything I did with him. It'd be the least I could do for my best friend.

Best friend. Is that what Daniel is to me? Or is that just what he was, once upon a time? Is that why I'm so reluctant to have sex with him? Not because of my oath, but because he's my friend, and once we have sex together he can't be that anymore? And why the hell not?

Because gay sex isn't something you do with friends. For me, gay sex is something you do to someone who's willing to hook up with you, and then you both walk away. That's all it's ever been. Having sex with a man isn't the same as making love to a woman. Women are soft and vulnerable and need the protection of a relationship. Men don't need that. They're cold and hard and hot and tight, and just want a fast fuck so they can move on to the next dick. Right?

Move on. That's the problem right there. Can't move on after I fuck Daniel, not if he's still on my team. If I have to see him every day. And work with him every day. And watch him being sexual with someone else who isn't me.

I am _so_ fucking screwed!

I don't get it! Even if I'm attracted to him, Daniel's a man; he doesn't need protecting, at least not anymore. He's gotten pretty good with a gun, and he can even hold his own in a lot of hand-to-hand situations. He's not the skinny, clueless dweeb he was four years ago, and even then, he'd handled a staff weapon like a pro.

So why is it all I can seem to think about is holding him and keeping him safe? Is this some kind of twisted daddy fantasy? I mull that sick, horrible thought over in my head for a few minutes, until I'm sure the things I feel for him aren't the least bit fatherly in nature. And they're _so_ not. I wanna lay him out and devour him with my mouth until he comes, and then fuck him till he comes again, screaming my name. Then I want to hold him in my arms while we sleep until we wake up and do it all over again.

For the rest of my life, I want to be with him, even after we're both too old to get it up anymore.

I don't want to be his father, god help me. I want... I want to treat him like I'd treat a woman. Tenderly, and with love and consideration.

_Ohmyfuckinggod, I'm in love with him...  
__  
_Three hours later, the lights are still on in the living room and the porch light's still off, but I figure Granola's _got_ to be gone by now. I'm cold and more than a little drunk, and I need to sleep. I let myself into the apartment and turn the lights off. All three of the bedroom doors are closed, so I figure Carter and Teal'c are home and already asleep too.

I enter the room I share with Daniel, intending to fall into my bed fully clothed, but on my way there, I trip over shoes. Granille's shoes. My eyes, now accustomed to the dark, shift quickly to the lump in Daniel's bed which, even in my not-quite-sober state, I know is too big to just be Daniel. The thought of them sleeping wrapped up in each other's arms somehow hurts me worse than knowing they've fucked.

I stagger back out to the dark living room and sink heavily onto the couch, ordering myself not to cry. I haven't shed a tear since Charlie died. I didn't even cry when Sara left me. And yet, here they come, hot, angry tears that're nobody's fault but my own.

I don't know if I slept at all, but some time later, while it's still dark, Granille comes out of the bedroom, already dressed. Wordlessly, we glare at each other as he goes to the door to let himself out, and I think about getting up and killing him, but I don't.

I decide to hit the shower, in an effort to wake up, sober up, and wash off the humiliating dried salt from my face.

By the time I finish, Daniel's gone.

*****

I hear Jack getting into the shower and decide this would be the best time to make my getaway. I know I've lost his respect now as well as his friendship, and there's really no point in sticking around anymore.

Granille says I can stay with him until I can find a place of my own. I know he'd let me stay indefinitely, but that wouldn't be right.

It takes me more than an hour, but I walk to a small diner at the far edge of town and order coffee and toast. I didn't bring much money with me, and I'm going to have to find another job, without a reference this time, so I've got to make what little I have last.

There's an alien television thingy playing in the corner, and I glance at it occasionally, not really paying much attention; it's not like I have anything else on my mind. Then something catches my eye, and I look more closely. It's the same red insignia we saw on the aircraft that took the stargate away.

Huh. I know who has the gate.

*****

//Where IS he, Granille?// I've got this loser flattened up against the alley wall behind the restaurant, and I'm not being gentle about it. It's been five hours, Daniel's late for his shift, and nowhere to be found.

//I don't know what you're talking about! Let go of me!//

I'm probably growling at this point, because my teeth are clenched so tightly I can hardly breathe. //You don't even care that he gave you that precious gift, do you? You bastard! You took him, and you fucked him, and then what - told him to get lost? Now that you've had your fun, you just throw him away, is that it?// Some part of my rarely-used conscience reminds me that this is my own M.O. and always has been, so why am I getting so high and mighty all of a sudden? How many men have I treated the exact same way?

_This is different; this is Daniel._

//Has something happened to Daniel?// he asks me, the very picture of innocence.

//You know good and well what's happened to him, you bastard! Now you TELL me where he is!//

//He was asleep when I left this morning; I swear to you, he was well!//

//Then where the hell IS he?//

Granille brings his knee up between us, breaking my hold on him and angrily shoving me away. //Perhaps he thought you would be irritated with him for what happened between him and me,// he pants, more than a little irate himself.

//Oh, y'think? I'm pissed off, all right, but not at him. You had NO right-//

//Daniel is a grown man; is he not free to make his own decisions? To take any lover he chooses? As many as he wants?//

//Not. YOU.//

//He seemed most eager last night-//

Which was really a lot more than I'd wanted to know. And now the only thing I'm sure of is that I just have to shut him up before he opens his goddamned mouth again.

I don't recall throwing the first punch, but I remember being highly annoyed that someone was dragging me off him when I clearly wasn't finished, because the bastard was still breathing. I was even more pissed off to find out it was Teal'c doing the dragging. Our simple exchange of words was in English, which always works for me when I'm seeing red. "Let me GO!"

"I will NOT! You must cease this violence immediately!"

"Get the fuck OFF me! That's an ORDER!"

"I will not obey this order, O'Neill, for you are not in your right mind!"

The next thing I know, Teal'c's got me face down in the alley, and I'm suckin' asphalt. Granola's hightailed it outta there in a hurry, and it's just the big guy and me, and he seems pretty fucking huge right now, 'cause he's sitting on me. "Daniel's gone!" I manage through gritted teeth.

"Of this I am aware, O'Neill. Samantha called to tell me so a short time ago; that is why I am here."

"Samantha?" I pant stupidly.

"She and I have become very close friends since we have come to this planet," Teal'c informs me calmly.

"Close friends?"

_"Indeed."  
__  
_I find I can't actually think of her as 'Samantha'. And then suddenly I've got this totally unnecessary picture in my head of the two of them naked, sweaty and locked in some kind of kinky pose, and it's all just too much to think about, with everything else that's happened in the last twelve hours. And on top of all that, I've got two hundred and fifty pounds of jaunty Jaffa keeping me from taking a complete breath, and I don't wanna even _think_ about poor Carter underneath all this bulk-

I bang my forehead on the pavement to shake away the unsettling image and stop trying to shove him off me. Cautiously, he gets up, and I can really breathe for the first time in what seems like an hour. I don't bother to move, though; not sure I can. "I'd've killed him," I admit quietly. "With my bare hands." Five more minutes, and he'd've been a twitching corpse.

"Of this I am certain. But it was not your right to do so. Daniel Jackson does not belong to you; you have made it clear to everyone that you do not want him."

He's right. "I'll bet you think I'm an idiot," I mutter.

"I most certainly do."

I raise my head to look at him then, and see that he's smiling just a little, which on Teal'c's big, black face -which is now topped with hair, and how very wrong is that?- just looks humorous as hell. "Gee. Thanks."

"You are most welcome, O'Neill." He offers me a hand, I take it, and we kinda pull each other up off the pavement. "Do you wish assistance in retrieving Daniel Jackson and convincing him of your true affections?"

I choke back a gasp as I'm brushing myself off. "No! Yes! I mean, yes on the retrieving, no on the affections, I'll... do my own convincing, thank you."

"Very well. Let us leave this place before the authorities arrive."

"Yeah, ya got that right."

*****

Once I knew which agency took the gate, the plan was simple. Going directly to that group would've gotten me thrown into the loony bin as a crackpot if they didn't believe me or sent to their equivalent of Area51 for the rest of my life if they did. So I do the next best thing; I go to the press.

I take cheap public transportation to the broadcast offices of the local television-thingy station and by lunchtime, I've talked my way into the office of the news director. I know I'm taking a big risk, but I figure if it pans out, the others will be able to go through the gate. If it doesn't, then nothing's really been lost.

I launch into my spiel about the strange E-M pulse her government probably detected on a remote island near a fishing village fifty-four days ago, and within twenty minutes, I've told her enough to convince her to use her connections to place a strategically-worded inquiry with the agency whose logo I'd recognized at the diner that morning. Of course my story checks out, and by dinnertime, the Department of Internal Security has agreed to fly an agent to meet with us in person.

The news director - her name is Sevda- shoots a fifteen-minute interview with me. I talk briefly about who I am and where I've come from, being careful to be as succinct as possible while insuring I make it clear that we're _peaceful_ explorers. I explain how I came to be in their city by way of the fishing village and then the cruise ship. I draw a sketch of the Stargate and the DHD, as well as the MALP and a dozen or so different glyphs, being careful not to depict a specific planetary address.

She asks if I have anything tangible to prove I've come from another planet, and I'm stumped. All I have is the clothes on my back- local ones, purchased in the fishing village- and a few pieces of their currency. Jack made us bury everything else in the woods outside the fishing village, which by now is probably covered by several feet of ice. All I have is my word.

Then she asked me why I've turned myself in.

//There are four of us. We mean you no harm. We came here as peaceful explorers, believing this to be an uninhabited planet. Once we learned of your existence, we wanted to speak with you concerning a trade arrangement for a mineral you have in abundance that is highly useful to us. Unfortunately, the Department of Internal Security detected our arrival and discovered the device we use to travel from one planet to another-// I hold up the sketch of the gate then- //and they removed it. Before we could come forward, the entire area was decimated by an explosive device. Because of that action, we feared for our safety if we were found out. We don't want any trouble; all we want is to go home.//

//If you fear reprisals, why come forth now?// Sevda asks.

The first thing that comes to mind is the fact that now that my wife's dead, and I no longer have Jack's friendship, I really have nothing left to live for, and therefore nothing to lose, but I figure that sounds a bit melodramatic, even if it is true. I decide to keep it simple and a little less theatrical. //One member of my team -a good friend- is not from my world. He needs something your planet cannot provide, and he will die unless he is allowed to leave.//

When we finish with the interview, Sevda lets me wait in her office, and she brings me a meal. Afterward, I fall asleep on her couch. Many hours later, late morning, she comes in to tell me the agent watched the interview and apparently believed me. He's spoken with his superiors, and they're willing to let us go in exchange for information about the gate and how it's used. She tells me how fortunate it is I waited to come forward when I did; if we'd surfaced last month during the previous administration, we'd've been summarily executed.

I don't really have any choice but to believe her.

That's about when I realize I have no way of contacting Jack and the others. The only thing I can do is call the restaurant, hoping Sam's working today.

"Sam? It's me-"

"Daniel? Where _are_ you? Are you all right?"

"I'm fine, Sam," I say quickly, brushing aside her concerns for me. "Never mind all that. I think I may have found a ride home."

*****

When Carter rushes home to tell us Daniel called the restaurant, I feel such a flush of relief it's embarrassing, and I hug the crap outta both of them. Poor Teal'c.

I'm not angry, far from it. But Special Ops dies hard, and trust doesn't come easily. "It could be a trap," I remind them. "They could have forced him to make that call."

"You're right," Carter says slowly, carefully, as if she's afraid to consider that I may have a point. Then she reaches out to the man beside her without even looking and takes the hand he silently offers her. "But we don't really have a lot of choice, do we?"

Seeing her sitting there, holding Teal'c's hand, is all the reason I need. He's the one with the deadline. Or rather, 'they' are, now. If they're willing to take the chance, I really can't stop them. It's dawning on me that I stopped being in command of this mission a long time ago.

"I want to go home, Jack," she says softly.

Teal'c looks from Carter to me and says in that way he has, "It comes down to this, O'Neill; do you trust Daniel Jackson?"

That's a dumb question; of course I trust him. I'm in love with him.

*****

//I've contacted the others; they're on their way in,// I tell Sevda. //Can you give me assurance they won't be harmed?//

//Daniel, I'm sitting on the exclusive of a lifetime; I'm going to make sure this goes down as smoothly as possible. When your friends get here, I'll have a camera crew on hand to film every bit of it. I don't anticipate any problems; the new administration is just as anxious to milk this for all it's worth, publicity-wise. Trust me; the D.I.S. will be forced to abide by the agreement, since they'll want to come off as the heroes in this compassionate effort.//

I smile, realizing that despite the obvious differences, this culture is very like our own in many ways. //I'm very grateful to you for all this.//

She smiles and bends toward me, and just before it happens, I realize she's going to kiss me. The open affection these people have for one another is one of the striking differences I think I could easily get used to. Her lips are warm and supple, and I let her lead it, following along happily wherever she intends to go. I feel my dick twitch, like an elbow in the ribs, 'remember, _this_ is what we like', and I follow her when she tries to end the kiss, prolonging it just a bit. She didn't mean anything by it, but I wanted to thank her, and it seemed like a good way. Plus it made me feel good.

//I'd like to stay here,// I say carefully, //to learn about your culture, teach you about ours, like an ambassador, of sorts...//

She shakes her head. //I wouldn't advise that at the moment. The administration is new and not without its enemies; it would be safer if you left with your friends and told us of a way to reach you once this calms down. It may take a little time for people, especially the older citizens, to come to terms with the fact that there are other worlds with sentient life.//

I tell her I understand, and I do, but I _really_ don't want to go home.

I call the restaurant and speak with Granille, asking him to come to the station, that it's important I see him right away. I need for him to understand about the four of us, and why I'm leaving with the others. He and I could never have had a relationship; I don't feel anything more for him than friendship, but he's been good to me, as well as patient and kind, and I at least owe him an explanation before he sees the evening news.

*****

Teal'c and Carter are laying low, in a place where they can see what happens while I meet with Daniel and his reporter friend. If it's a trap, and it goes bad, at least they'll be free to try something else.

I see Daniel across the street, sitting on a stone bench outside the high-rise building that houses the reporter's TV station. He's got a day's beard growth, and I can see the circles under his eyes even from a distance. He sits there calmly talking to a blonde woman who looks like she's in her mid-thirties; they make a cute couple. It takes almost a full minute to realize I'm clenching my fists and gnashing my teeth, and I give myself another minute to try to calm down from that ridiculously arrogant and dangerous attitude before making my presence known. Studying different cultures is Daniel's thing, and he's the best. He's in his element, that's all it is. And if it's more, it's none of my business.

When Daniel sees me, he stands and walks toward me, out of earshot of the woman, who remains seated.

"You okay?" I ask, scanning the area for signs of the trap this might very well be.

"Yeah, fine."

"Bold move."

"Stupid, y'mean?"

"Not if it works. Looks like I should've taken your suggestion two months ago."

He shakes his head. "No, you were right to be cautious; Sevda says if we'd come forward before the election, the party in power would've been a problem."

"So." I meet his eyes and smile a little. "We were both right?"

"Yeah," he chuckles, "what're the odds?"

I don't sense anything amiss yet; maybe this is gonna work.

"Um, where're the guys?"

"Close by."

He nods. "It's safe, Jack. They've got cameras set up in the lobby, and they're probably filming us right now. They're going to get everything on tape, so no one can do anything shady. It was all I could think to do; the rest requires a leap of faith, I guess." His expression is full of an anticipatory hurt, born of the too many times I haven't taken him at his word in the past.

"I have faith in you, Daniel," I say, realizing with astonishment that I really do.

He seems surprised but pleased, and smiles a little. "Let me introduce you."

She seems nice enough, if a little touchy-feely for my taste. The handshake is soft and lingering, and I just now notice she's holding Daniel's hand.

//I understood there were four of you?// she asks cordially.

I turn and give the all-clear sign, and five minutes later, Carter and Teal'c join us in front of the building. Daniel handles the introductions, and we follow the woman into the lobby where there are four cameras and a lot of lights set up around a small conference table.

She's got questions, and seeing as how answering them is all that seems to be required for bus fare outta here, I'm willing to indulge her. Once the history of our arrival through the gate is out of the way, she zeroes in on Carter for a fast and dirty lesson on the care and feeding of a stargate, and the subject of the MALP comes up.

//Why don't you guys keep it?// Daniel suggests. //That way, we'll be able to contact you and speak to you through it without actually traveling here before you're ready for a visit.//

It makes us look magnanimous, and the SGC's got about fifty of 'em, so I nod my agreement. //So where's the gate?// I ask as offhandedly as I can manage.

//It's apparently a short distance from here, about a thirty minute flight,// Daniel answers. "Their version of Area 51, I would guess," he adds in English.

I see him looking past me, and then, without a word, he's up and moving. I follow him with my eyes to the front doors where Granola's trying to get past the cordon of guards. At Daniel's urging, the guards move aside to let him through. Daniel takes the other man by the hand, and they step off to the side for some privacy. He's speaking quickly; I can tell because his hands are moving fast, as if he's hurrying himself along. Granola's frowning, but not interrupting, and I'm guessing Daniel's giving him the abbreviated version of the 'we are aliens on your world' speech.

In the background, I hear the reporter talking to Teal'c now, getting the lowdown on why it's so urgent he get off the planet, but I'm not paying much attention to that; we talked, and he knows how much to tell her. I don't need to be able to read lips to know that Daniel's buddy is asking him to stay, and I have to see what the answer's gonna be. When Daniel shakes his head no, Granola looks straight at me, and his expression goes hard. Daniel reaches out to touch the gash on the other guy's cheek- the one I put there- and Granola covers Daniel's hand with his own. I swear, if that bastard starts crying, I'm gonna...

Then Daniel leans into him and initiates a kiss, and then they're holding each other, and it's a _real_ fucking kiss, and Daniel's fully participating, and goddammittohell, I'm such a loser, the only thought racing through my head right now is _'I could've been Daniel's first...'_

I must've made some kind of noise, because the next thing I know, Carter's hand is on my arm. She's still talking to the reporter and hasn't missed a beat, but she can feel me seething and knows I'm gonna do something stupid. She's a great 2IC; I probably don't tell her that often enough, and her gentle touch on my arm is enough to break me out of it. I take a deep, trembling breath, and after what seems like about a month, during which time I cannot seem to get my eyes off his face, Daniel ends the kiss. _Shit._

The reporter-lady and her camera crew accompany us to the airfield and then on the short aircraft ride to the warehouse where they've got the gate stored. Under other circumstances, I'd love to take a tour of the place, but I've got a couple of other things on my mind right now.

I can't wait to be rid of the camera in my face, but since it's our health insurance policy, I can't really complain. I point to my right cheek. //This is my good side,// I deadpan to the one assigned to shadow me.

The place is surrounded by armed guards, and there are all kinds of government types who want to shake our hands and make speeches for the cameras; PR's a wonderful thing.

Carter's gives a 'gate technology 101' class to their science guys, after which she and Teal'c check that the DHD proximity is okay and that all the crystals are in good shape. Daniel and I sit side by side in stiff, plastic-looking chairs and don't talk. I don't know what to say, and it looks like he doesn't either.

The four of us talked a bit on the plane, Carter and Teal'c blatantly holding hands the whole time. We're gonna need to get our heads together about that before we arrive back at the SGC. The plan is to gate to an uninhabited world, the address of which Daniel just happens to remember, and from there to Abydos. We can take some time there to figure out team dynamics before we walk into the debrief from hell.

I wish I had a clue what I'm gonna say.

*****

Kasuf is surprised to see us, but graciously gives us refreshment and the use of his tent. I know all I have to do is ask, and he'll let me stay. I can finish the work I started in the cartouche room and the passages further back in the pyramid that I never got around to before- well, just before. It's the dig of a lifetime, and it'll more than compensate for not going back to Earth.

"You have to come back, Daniel," Jack insists, as if it's a done deal.

"I'm staying here, Jack. I can help Sha're's people." It's reasonable, and it'll be hard for him to refute without looking like the heartless asshole I've recently learned he is.

"Negative. We need you for the debrief, and Hammond's gonna want your report on the culture in triplicate for use in any future trade agreements, and Fraiser's gonna wanna shine her penlight into all your orifices, and-"

He's babbling. Between Jack being an ass and me being intractable, it's a pathetic scene; we're both acting like children.

Sam cuts in, saving us all from the torture. "Why don't you come back with us and get all your personal business tied up, Daniel?" She knows why I have to quit, why I can't work with him anymore, she and Teal'c both do. "It's been a bad couple of months, and we're all at our wit's end," she continues, her big blue eyes shining with love and concern for both of us. "Give yourself some time to get back on your feet, and then decide if you really want to resign from the SGC and move here."

God, I love that woman; she's like the sister I never had. "You're probably right," I admit. I try not to look over at Jack, but I can feel the tension leave him. He seems pretty relieved, but it doesn't change anything. We can't work together anymore, not with this between us. "What about you guys?"

"Our personal relationship will not affect our working relationship, Daniel Jackson. SG-1 can continue as before."

"He's right," Jack says quietly. "No regs against it." Our eyes meet for a couple of brief seconds, and then we both look away. Nothing really happened between us, so no regs broken there, either. Bent a little, maybe, like my heart. This is so screwed up.

We thank Kasuf for his hospitality and, using his GDO, we dial up the SGC, where there's much jubilation at our return after being MIA and then presumed dead for fifty-six days. We arrive around midday on a Friday, and Janet is on duty and beside herself with relief that we're all in one piece. She orders every test on every machine the SGC's got, just to keep us there. It's nice to have been missed.

Janet insists we stay on base overnight in order to get all the blood tests back before we all go our separate ways. She and General Hammond have apparently kept up our homes in our absence, never believing for a moment we wouldn't eventually come back; the intrepid SG-1 always comes home.

And SG-1 will go on, just like before, except now, without me.

We're set to debrief in the morning, and then we'll get some time off to take care of personal matters before reporting for duty, just as if nothing at all happened during the last fifty-six days.

Once they let us out of there, Jack and I will have to have a talk. We all got our stories straight for the debrief while we were on Abydos. But working on the same base won't be possible, even with the two of us on separate teams, unless Jack and I clear some things up.

*****

I'm not surprised at the knock on the door; I've been expecting it all day. Hammond gave us a week off starting immediately after the briefing this morning, and I've been rehearsing my casual look for hours.

I open the door and pretend my mouth didn't just go dry, like some kind of clichéd Pavlovian response. This has gotta stop; I can't be getting all fluttery in the gut just because he's standing there wearing tight jeans. And I'm sure plaid isn't a sexy look on anyone but Daniel.

"Is this a good time?"

Does he know how good he looks? Probably not. "Sure. You want a beer?" I hold up mine as an example, and he shakes his head.

"Um, no. Thanks, though. I don't want to take up too much of your time-"

"Hey, I got nothing goin' today, just hangin' around, watching the game." I move into the living room, because whatever he's got to say to me, I probably need to be sitting down to hear. "You hungry? Wanna order a pizza?" I click off the TV and drop onto the far end of the couch, motioning for him to take the other side. He does, looking as nervous as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

"No, thanks, I'm fine." An excruciatingly long moment of silence lingers heavily before he clears his throat. "Well, this is much more awkward than I'd hoped it would be."

"It doesn't have to be," I say, not believing a word of it myself.

"But it is. Things happened, Jack. Things were said. We can't just go on like nothing's changed."

"Why not?" Hey - denial's my middle name.

He's finally looking at me, and his voice is so soft I can barely hear him. "Because I can't forget, that's why."

I study my beer bottle because it's easier than trying to hold up under his accusing eyes. I'm not really sure what we're talkin' about here, and I need some intel before I open my mouth and wedge my foot completely inside. "You miss him?"

"Granille?" He shakes his head. "He was a very nice man, very kind and understanding. But I don't miss him like you mean, no."

I try not to yodel my extreme pleasure at this. I have a tendency to yodel when I'm by myself, and I'm sure that would probably scare him off; Sara wasn't fond of it either. I'm glad he's not carrying a torch for the guy; would've made me real sorry I hadn't killed him. Still, it doesn't really seem like Daniel to blow off something that momentous this lightly. "It'd be natural to have some feelings for him, Daniel, being your first time, and all. That's kinda special for most people."

"I guess I'd been counting _you_ as being my first time," he says softly.

"I'm sorry - what?"

"Well y'know, the kissing and groping and humping and stuff on the ship. Doesn't that count for something?"

I don't know whether to be flattered or furious. In the space of a heartbeat, I decide on furious. "What you and I did was what we used to call petting, Daniel, back when we were teenagers," I say tightly. "It was a lot of fun, but it's not the same. You gave that bastard something he wasn't capable of appreciating-"

"What are you talking about?" His forehead's bunching; clearly he doesn't get it, so I'll need to spell it out for him.

"Your body, Daniel. Your virginity. Giving yourself away sexually because you didn't wanna be alone. Granola couldn't have cared less what a gift that was!"

"I wasn't doing that-"

"You WERE!" God, I'm so angry I'm shouting, and it just boiled up out of me from out of nowhere.

"Hey! Let's try a little reality on for size, shall we?" He frowns, every bit as pissed off as I am, but slightly more in control of it. "The four of us were stranded there, and it was looking pretty much like forever; the last stop, the final mission. Sam and Teal'c accepted it and made a decision to make the most of whatever time they had left, and they're very happy they did."

I open my mouth to get a word in edgewise, but he just holds a finger up and barrels right on through me.

"Let me finish, please. It's pretty obvious there's something between us, Jack, and it seemed like a good time to pursue it. I have no idea when it actually started, but I noticed it after Ke'ra, and I'm pretty sure it started on your side. Nobody kisses like that unless there're some extremely heavy feelings backing it up, and things got pretty hot on the ship, for both of us. Like you said, I'd never had a gay thought in my head, but I was willing to give it a try, and I really liked what we did. To me, it made perfect sense; if we were going to be stuck there for the rest of our lives, I wanted to stay with you, try to make a life together, but you're in some kind of 'fuck-'em-once' denial state that I don't understand. That's fine, if you're comfortable there, but I can't live that way.

"I don't want to spend my life alone, especially stranded off-world. I wanted to find someone to be with who would care for me, who I could talk to and laugh with and be close to and learn to love. I thought you and I had a head start on all of that, but I guess I've just been fooling myself all along that you could ever feel anything for me beyond just an empty physical attraction. I told you I wanted to understand how two men make love when they care for each other, and you wouldn't show me; Granille was willing to show me-"

"Show and tell? Is that all it was to you?" I snipe bitterly. "I'm surprised at you, Daniel; that seems so shallow."

He's silent for a moment, counting the number of times my nostrils flare, for all I know. "I didn't give him my virginity, Jack," his voice is so soft I can barely hear him.

Maybe my brain's gone into shock or something, because it seems to take a long-ass time for that simple phrase to make any sense to me. "You didn't?" Confusion here, big time. He just shakes his head. "But I thought..." And as the confusion starts to seep away, warm relief floods in to fill all the cold, dark, truly selfish spaces in my heart.

"I couldn't go through with it," he whispers.

I have to know. "Why not?"

He frowns then, tiny little vertical folds in between his eyebrows that mean he's diggin' in his heels. His lips purse up some, and he says, "I'm not gonna tell you."

I don't want to jump the gun on this- presumption killed the cat, and all- but guessing would be bad, so I have to push. "How come?"

"Because you've already got a fat head."

"I do not."

"You do so."

"Daniel-"

"No."

"If I say 'please'?"

"Uh-uh." He gets up, and it looks like he's headed for the door, conversation over, and that's no good.

"Damn it, Daniel." I'm on my feet in a heartbeat. "TELL ME!"

"All RIGHT!" he shouts, turning back to face me, still clearly pissed off. "I don't know when it happened, and believe me, I'm sorry as HELL it did, but I'm pretty sure I'm in love with you, asshole!"

I can't help the smirk I feel starting to cover my face as slide my hands into my pockets. "So that's the good news, right?"

He folds his arms across his chest and tilts his chin up defiantly. _God,_ he looks sexy that way. "No, not really, that's actually part one of the bad news; part two would be that I'm also pretty sure homosexuality isn't for me."

"Oh." Well, that tiny bit of joy was short-lived, wasn't it?. And now I'm filled with pure, ice-cold rage as I think that however far they got, Granola was a selfish lover, and didn't make it good for Daniel, since he's now so completely turned off something he'd been _so_ ready for when he was with me. _"Shit."_

"I'm sorry." The defiant look is gone, and he really does look a little sad.

"Yeah. Me, too." God, this sucks. Finding out Granola didn't take what should've been mine, only to find out he ruined it anyway without even getting to the finish line. "Do you think we'll still be able to work together?" I ask hopefully, because now that I know he loves me, I'll start a campaign that'll knock his socks off. Hey - I can do adorable; just call me Bambi.

He shakes his head, looking at the ground. "I don't really see how..."

"Oh."

"I just... y'know, feeling the way I do about you, and at some point, maybe seeing you with someone else... it'd just be... really hard."

"Yeah, me, too," I mumble.

"Huh?"

I shrug. What the hell. "Me, too, with the, y'know, jealous thing..."

"Oh."

What a pair; our timing is fucking unbelievable. "So, let me get this straight," I grimace. "We're in love with each other, and we both know it, and we're not gonna do anything-"

He's frowning again. "Wait - you're in love with me?"

I squint. "Well, yeah... didn't I mention that?" I always squint when I'm nervous. Like yodeling, just one of my many talents.

"No, you didn't. I'd've remembered."

"Oh." True Confession time, mmm, my favorite. "Yeah," I shrug, "I kinda figured it out about the same time you and Granola were, y'know..."

The deer in the headlights look makes me wanna hug him. "You're in love with me," he says in a little wondering voice, blinking as this fact soaks all the way in. "Huh. Well, that sucks."

"Six ways from Sunday," I agree grimly. I'm starting to feel bold, though, because he's looking a little disarmed right now, and I'll take any toehold I can get "Look, Granola was probably a really lousy lay anyway-"

"Granille," he corrects me tightly.

"Yeah, whatever. I don't suppose you'd consider letting me have a whack at it?"

His eyes go huge. "Whack? Whack what?"

"You." The instant the word leaves my mouth I know I've blown it; just call me Mister Sensitivity. "I mean-" One of my more stunning examples of foot-in-mouth-disease, and I'm back-pedaling furiously now to regain lost ground. "You and I were having a pretty good time on the ship." I can see his face coloring as he remembers, which is encouragement, as far as I'm concerned, so I blunder on, trying to bring back the moment. "The kissing and humping and stuff..."

"Yeah," he agrees grudgingly, peering at me sideways. "It was pretty hot, I guess."

As casually as I possibly can, I start to move closer to where he's standing. "You nearly came in your pants that one time," I prompt him quietly.

More frowning, and he stuffs his hands into the pockets of his jeans. "Which, ah... time was that?"

"When Gopher was doin' his rounds," I remind him smugly. "We were out on the stern deck. You were humping my leg, I was grabbing your ass..."

"You... you knew I was close?" He clears his throat nervously, and I notice his flush has deepened. Christ, that pink color's adorable, but I'll kill myself before I tell him that.

I'm two steps away from him now and starting to get hard. I drop my already-quiet voice another notch. "Oh, yeah, you were making some really hot little noises." Needy, begging whimpers my dick can still hear. "It woulda been difficult to miss."

He's flustered, which is an especially sexy look for him. I'm starting to really love plaid. "I was really trying to be quiet... You, um, think I'm hot?"

"God, Daniel, who's being dense now?" I ask softly, just on the outside edge of encroaching on his personal space. "You're a hot, sexy guy; we're hot together. You know it; I know it. In fact," I finish up in a knowing whisper, "you're hard even now, aren'tcha?"

His eyes're fixed on mine, trying to bore into me, to see if I'm just feeding him a line to get into his pants. I know he's doing a comparative analysis between whatever he and Granola did, and the things he and I got up to on the ship, weighing them, questioning his earlier determination that he's not interested. The man I held against me on the cruise ship was more than interested, he _wanted_ it. If Granola's touch turned him off, that just means one thing. He only wants it from me.

"I suppose we could try one kiss," he says reluctantly, giving no ground, admitting nothing.

Hey, I'm famous for my kisses; it'll only take one. I take the final step, and our bodies are nearly touching. As I lean forward, his eyes close, and his face tilts up in an offering pose that stretches out his neck, making his Adam's apple very prominent. I make a mental note to adore it later with my tongue, and continue toward his mouth.

He shaved right before coming over; I can still smell the shaving cream, and his cheeks are shiny-smooth. I let my lips touch his, like the first, tentative touch of wheels on the tarmac, then come back to swipe my tongue along his bottom lip, moistening it with my spit. Marking him. Then leaning a little bit into the kiss with the most minute pressure, feeling his lips open a little bit, inviting me in.

It's nothing like the savage kisses we shared on the ship; this is gentle and teasing and barely there. A pressure, a presence, no more. An offering and a promise. Ironically, I don't feel the need to cover him with my body, to possess him. What I feel for Daniel is closer to what I felt for Sara, and that both scares me and turns me instantly rigid.

"I'm sorry," I whisper as I pull away. I don't go far.

He's blinking and looking a little lost that I didn't take him up on his offer to deepen the kiss. His tongue is running around his lips as if he's collecting the flavor of me, and that is _so_ turning me on, knowing he wants my taste inside him. "Wh-what? Sorry for what?"

"On Tarega... when you asked me to make love to you. I said no. I was stupid."

Then I see his eyes twinkle and the tiniest smile touches his mouth. "You were waaay stupider than that kiss, Jack," he replies, his voice coarse with desire.

"Yeah?" I return the smile and move in slowly. "How stupid was I?" I kiss him a little more thoroughly, this time accepting the invitation into his mouth, letting our tongues touch and slide s-l-o-w-l-y against one another again and again, completely unhurried and without agenda. I pull away, our noses only an inch apart. _"That_ stupid?" I whisper.

His eyes are half closed, his breathing heavy, and at some point his hands have found themselves at my waist. Now they're sliding up my sides and around my back, hooking over my shoulders. He's pulling me against him, and I can feel his heart pounding against my chest as he murmurs, "Very, very stupid, Jack. Exceptionally stupid, in fact. I'll let you know when you can stop apologizing-"

And he kisses me as if all the oxygen in the world is in the back of my mouth, and he's gonna inhale every molecule of it; I plan on letting him. I wrap my arms around him, and the full-body contact is unbelievable. On the ship, I'd kept pushing him away even while I was yanking him toward me, but now, we're both pulling each other in as close as we can get.

I'm so hard, I'm afraid my dick'll snap if I don't set it free, and I'm nearly breathless from the intensity of the kiss. "Please, Daniel, let me..." I murmur against his mouth as I hurriedly start to unbutton his shirt. My hands are moving steadily down to his waist, and I'm tugging on his belt. _"Please..."_ I've never begged for sex in my life.

"God, yes, Jack," he says through lips I've kissed swollen. "Touch it."

_Touch it?_ Fuck. I'm gonna do more than touch it. I manage to get his belt open and the zipper on his jeans undone, but they're tight, so fucking tight, I might have to chew them off. I'm certainly willing to do that, I'm pretty sure I could, but I don't accidentally wanna hurt him in my need to get in there. I slide my hands in through the waistband and around the back to his ass -god, what an ass- then use that leverage to coax them down. Finally! They're almost off!

But his shoes are still on- d'oh! _Some classy seduction, O'Neill, you forgot about his fucking shoes._ Never mind, don't need complete nudity for what I want. I drop to my knees and pull his briefs down, and his dick, hard and leaking and nearly purple, lunges for my mouth. What a happy coincidence, just where I wanted it!

"God, Jack..."

All at once, finesse completely forgotten, I take him in as deeply as I can. I haven't had a lot of experience on the giving end of these, so my gag reflex is a problem, but I get a good bit of it in, and I can feel his hands on the back of my head, so I'm thinking he likes it. Each down stroke brings his pubic hair closer as I inhale his musk in great gulps. I'll be lucky if I don't come first.

But he wasn't expecting me to do this, and he's close. I can feel him widen his stance, and if he's like me, his butt's clenching as his thighs tighten up. I grab both his ass cheeks in my hands as I move my tongue along the bottom side of his dick, exerting a gentle suction as I ease it back out. I try to keep the motions consistent so the sensations have a chance to build up, and he starts making those needy noises again as his fingers tighten in my hair.

"Ungh... Jack... god, I'm-" and then my mouth fills with his come, warm and salty, and I hold my head still as I swallow it down, keeping my tongue moving along the bottom, encouraging the flow while trying to stay away from the head. Once the first couple of big spurts are done, I let go of him slowly, cleaning the shaft with my tongue as I go. When only the head is still in my mouth I give it a quick swipe, gathering the last of his taste, and the spasm from over sensitivity causes him to gasp and jerk his dick completely out of my mouth. He's damp, but clean.

I feel him wobble a little and help him sit on the floor. Talk about awkward. His shirt's hanging open and his jeans and briefs are gathered around his knees. He looks completely ravaged and debauched and like he might pass out.

"You okay?" I ask, my own dick throbbing mercilessly within the tight confines of my Dockers as I sit back on my heels.

"You swallowed it?"

What a dumb-ass thing to say following a spectacular blowjob like that. "No, Daniel, I've stored it inside my cheek, like chewing tobacco."

He blinks at me a couple of times, straining to work it out. "Nuh-uh." My genius.

"Come on," I say, getting to my feet and holding out a hand. "Can we take this into the bedroom, or do you wanna stay here like that?"

He looks down at his splayed legs and naked crotch and smiles self-consciously. "Ah, yeah, I guess so." He pulls his briefs and jeans up and holds them with one hand, just so he can walk without falling on his face, and starts down the hall for my bedroom. I've got a little bit of control back, so hopefully, the second part of tonight's program will be pulled off with a little more grace and panache.

*****

I can't believe he swallowed it. I mean, I'm shocked he went down on me in the first place, but I never would've imagined Jack O'Neill swallowing anybody's come. That has to be the fasted blowjob I've ever had.

I guess if I'm honest, I'm surprised about all of it. I worked up the guts to come over here, mainly to confirm my earlier take on the whole gay thing to begin with. I was pretty sure on Tarega that I didn't have what it takes to have sex with a man; Granille had been gentle and loving, but he just didn't do it for me. And my body definitely reacted when Sevda kissed me. But nowhere near the way I just lost it in the living room with Jack.

He was right; I was hard before he touched me, and then when he kissed me... I'd thought the plundering kisses we shared on the ship were arousing, but they were nothing compared to the gentle lip-sex we just had. I think there's a good chance I'd've come eventually, just from the way his tongue was stroking mine. The deeper he eased himself into my mouth, the more I wanted his hands on me. I wanted to be completely naked and to feel him touching me everywhere.

To say I was astonished to feel his mouth on my dick would be a pretty drastic understatement. I stood there, looking down in bewilderment at his silver hair as Colonel Jack O'Neill, of all people, took my cock into his mouth; that'll be an image I'll take with me to my grave.

When I felt my orgasm begin, I tried to warn him, but his hands were on my bare ass, keeping me in place, so I'd have no choice but to fill his mouth. Even then, it never occurred to me he'd swallow it. I don't know how anybody manages to do that; the mere idea makes me gag. Of the women I've been with, only Sha're swallowed my come. Now that I think about it, I suppose it _is_ sexy, in a thoroughly nasty sort of way.

"Hey-" his voice is concerned. I must look like some kind of sacrificial virgin to him. I suppose I am. "You okay?"

I turn and flash him a reassuring smile. Now that I've climaxed and the sexual urgency is gone, so too is my confidence that this is something I'll like doing. Let's face it, this is not an activity nature intended when the human body was designed. The phrase 'riding on parts not intended' springs to mind.

He's taken off his shirt and lost his footwear somewhere along the way, and now the pants are coming off. His dick is still covered by his boxers, but they're drastically tented, and it's frankly terrifying to think he's going to try to get that thing inside me.

"I'm just not sure..."

His smile is understanding, not predatory, and I'm more than a little relieved. "Not sure what to do, or not sure you want to do this?"

Thank god and damn this man for knowing me so well. "Both, I guess."

He slides his boxers off, and I make a concerted effort to keep my gaze fixed on his eyes and not drop to take in his weapon in all its nude, erect glory. I take a deep breath as he steps toward me, relieved when his hand just cups the side of my face. "We won't do anything you don't want to do, Daniel," he whispers. "You have my word."

Then he kisses me again, and when his lips touch mine in their brand new but wholly familiar way, I hear myself moaning and know I'm lost again. The taste is different this time, the addition of my own flavor to his, I suppose, like some kind of primordial, chemical marriage. The kiss deepens, and his lips own me. The tenderness he conveys through his kisses is a force I can't reckon with. It's black magic and science and every theology I've ever studied. When Jack kisses me, I know I'll let him do anything he wants to me. He knows it, too.

"Jack-"

"Yes." Not a question.

"Yes, what?"

"Yes, I love you. I'm _in_ love with you. I want to make love to you."

The groan that escapes me sounds loud, but probably isn't. "I want..."

"To believe me."

I nod. How long has he been able to read minds? "I want-"

"To trust me."

And that breaks me, the tears coming from out of nowhere, and I feel like a fool. "Jack..."

He takes me into his arms, his left palm cradling the back of my head, letting me hide my face in his neck, and he's making shushing sounds and his naked body is so warm against my still-clothed one, the skin soft under my hands, and I just want to crawl inside the safety of it and feel him all around me. It all feels great. Except for what's poking me in the hip; that's just terrifying.

He removes my glasses and begins to undress me, peeling away layers of the barrier between us. "Just lay with me," he whispers. "I won't touch you..."

I let him remove my clothes, because it seems appropriate somehow, and when I'm fully naked, I notice his erection has mostly wilted. I feel responsible for that and reach for it to make it right, but his hand intercepts mine. "Not necessary," he murmurs as he leads me to his bed. He lies down and holds out a hand to me, waiting for me to be ready.

Ready to get into Jack's bed. The sheer audacity of the very idea shocks me into movement, and for better or worse, I sit on the bed, then turn toward him, laying my head on his shoulder, feeling his chest hair against my cheek as his arm settles around me, then shifting until our nude bodies lay close alongside one another, my soft dick gently squashed against his right thigh. My eye catches sight of the dog tags on his chest and I take them into my hand, closing my fingers around them as I close my eyes.

It feels so right to be here like this with him.

*****

He's shaking, and I don't think it's because he's cold. I'm not so arrogant as to think my electric personality has brought him quiveringly eager to the brink of bisexuality, either. I think back to my first time, but that really isn't the same thing at all. I've never bottomed, so I've never faced what he's facing, and I find I'm quite unprepared to advise him.

I'm at a weird crossroads of conflict here. As his friend, I'd warn him not to let anyone talk him into doing something he doesn't want to do, no matter who they are. As his team leader, I'd caution him to evaluate the pros and cons before making any decision this important; is what he's gaining at least as valuable as what he's giving up? And as the man who wants desperately to be his lover...

I don't want to hurt him.

*****

He's so warm. We've been lying here a little while, not moving, and that's the prevailing thought in my head. Being next to a warm body. And he's hard. Not his dick, that's still soft, thank god. But it's weird lying next to a naked body with edges. Women are soft and round, not all of them as round as others, but certainly softer than Jack. Even Sarah, who was five foot ten in bare feet without an ounce of fat on her, had padding where Jack's hip bone is currently poking me in the belly.

Jack's _naked_ hip bone.

Naked. Together. With Jack. In his bed.

The mind is a powerful organ; I can feel my own dick lengthening, just thinking about it. Which is odd, considering that lying next to Granille like this hadn't moved me in the least. Jack smells so... familiar. My tongue darts out to lick the skin of his chest, and shockingly, comes in contact with body hair. How very unexpected. All my experience is geared toward other discoveries during lovemaking, wet things, round things, nipples that pucker and wrinkle and-

I shift the angle of my chin a bit, so that my tongue can reach his nipple, and as I watch, it shrivels into a hard point when the air hits the moist skin. For some reason, that's the most outrageously erotic thing I've ever seen, and I can feel my dick lurch a little in agreement. I rise up onto my left elbow to look down at him. His eyes meet mine, but he doesn't speak. I know he's waiting for me; he has to be able to feel my dick moving between us. It's not like we can keep any secrets from each other like this, but the fact he doesn't _do_ anything causes a rush of emotion to fill me that I try to recognize. Gratitude? Love? Desire?

I decide it's all three and lean down to kiss his mouth, which is warm and supple and welcoming. He lets me explore his mouth with my tongue, and I let go of the dog tags in favor of holding his face to mine. The arm that's around my shoulder tightens just a bit, but not in a suffocating way, and his other arm remains at his side. I pull back from the kiss, realizing that my dick is completely hard, and I thrust my hips at him to see what he'll do.

He smiles, and pulls me down for another kiss, which becomes more intense after a while, and my free hand slides from his cheek back to his neck and I notice how soft his hair is and that he hasn't gotten a haircut from our time off-world yet. I shift again, my right leg sliding over his, and as I do, our chests come into better alignment, and the feel of his slightly hairy chest against my own smooth one is somehow dangerous in the extreme and drives the point home again-- I'm in bed with a man; _with Jack._

I pull back once again to look him deeply in the eyes. We're both hard now, and I can feel his dick twitching against my belly, where it's trapped by my weight. I can't read what's in his face, but the thought of using words seems somehow wrong, like we should be able to communicate without them. Pretty odd position for a linguist to take, I guess. I shift yet again, balancing my weight on both my arms as I straddle him, my knees on either side of his slim hips. Slowly, with our eyes locked together, I lower my upper body until our bellies encase both our cocks completely. I can feel his right up next to mine, and it's the strangest thing I've ever felt in my life. I lean down to kiss him and he collapses my arms, so that the entire weight of my upper body is on his. His eyes close as our lips meet, but just before they do, I see them roll backward into his head, and his hips arch up just a bit, shifting the positioning of our dicks, causing them to grind against each other. My own eyes close as well, to savor the feeling.

I retake my arms and rise up just a bit, pulling away from the kiss, and thrust my dick against his belly. The slide of sweaty skin in an enclosed space is similar to being inside a woman, but every time our dicks collide with each other, there are spikes of pleasure unlike anything I've ever felt before. I do it again, and groan when the contact is made. A third time, and Jack groans as well.

And then I can't count anymore.

*****

I've never seen anything so beautiful in my life. He's on top of me, humping me, humping us both I guess, and the expression on his face is one of pure concentration and abandonment. His eyes are closed and his head's tilted back a little and his mouth is wide open and there's not a sound coming out of him.

Daniel's speechless.

He's in a zone, and speeding up. Breath is gusting out of him, carrying sound without form, but heavy with meaning. This isn't something I've ever done before, never wanted to waste my time with it. Who would've thought it'd be so...

My _god,_ he's beautiful-

*****

I struggle to open my eyes. I wanna watch him; I want him to watch me. I want him to see it happen.

He's biting his lip, so maybe he's close and just trying to wait for me to catch up. I hope so, I can't wait anymore- god, this feels so good. I'm gonna come- oh fuck, coming- coming now-

"Jack-!" I feel the first spasm, then a rush of warmth between us, and then suddenly it's so very wet, and that's a different kind of feeling to push into, and there's so much of it, and every thrust is spreading it, and it seems like the spasms are getting stronger and are never gonna end-

"Ahh--ahh--ahh-" is all the sound Jack lets himself make before he clamps his lips shut and closes his eyes, shutting it all off, keeping it all inside. I can feel his ab muscles tightening with each pulse of semen he releases between us.

I slow my thrusting to nearly nothing, just enjoying the incredible feeling of so much slickness between us, and eventually, I come to a full stop, resting my weight on my elbows again, waiting for him to open his eyes. "We've made a mess," I announce softly right against his face.

He cracks one eye open just barely and peers up at me. "Oh, y'think?"

I grin, nudging at his face with my nose until he kisses me. "Well excuse me for being proud of myself."

"You've never made anybody else come before?"

"I have so," I counter haughtily. "But that was different. It was easy, they were all girls." I roll my hips, spreading the mess around further. His hands clamp onto my ass cheeks to keep me still, and he squeezes them hard enough to make me gasp. I arch my back, pushing back against him, and he yanks me back onto him, taking my full weight. He curls his leg around mine and rolls us over so he's on top looking down at me.

There's something in his eyes, and until he smiles, I'm not completely sure he's not mad.

I smile back, willingly sinking into the kiss that follows.

*****

I suppose this officially makes Daniel and I lovers. And although I've had a lot of sexual partners, my memory can only recall one other lover. I wonder at the turn of events, the morphing of a teammate into a lover, and what that will mean for the team.

Funny we should pair off the way we have. There'll have to be rules; firm ones. There can never be sex on a mission, ever. Well, unless of course we set the watch schedule in pairs, then I don't see-

"What're you thinking?"

I am so screwed. I'm lying real still so he'll think I'm asleep. Sara used to ask me that question all the time. Somehow, if I was thinking anything at all, I was never thinking what she wanted me to be thinking. And I really need to stop comparing Daniel to my ex-wife; I don't suppose either of them would appreciate the comparison. We've showered and changed the sheets, and it's late; we really should be aslee-

"I know you're awake, Jack."

"Um, what was the question?"

"What are you thinking?"

"About what?"

"What?"

"I don't know, it was your question-"

And then suddenly -far too suddenly for someone trained in Special Ops and who should've seen it coming- he's on top of me, hands gripping my wrists, and he's glaring. It's dark, but I'm sure he's glaring. "What are you thinking?" he repeats.

"I'm thinking I can get you onto your back in about two seconds."

And now I can hear him smirking. "Try."

He's braced for a horizontal roll, so I bring my knee up into his belly and tip him vertically, taking him completely by surprise and landing on him on the edge of the bed with a flamboyant 'ta-da'!

He's struggling and grunting, and I can only see glimpses of his face with the slivers of moonlight that fall across the bed, but I know he's really trying to get free, so I loosen up a little, and damned if he doesn't roll me sideways, straddling my hips and heaving triumphant gusts of mint-flavored breath into my face. "You let me win," he accuses.

"I let you roll me; we both win."

"Don't let me."

"Can't do it."

"Jack-"

"Daniel, I'm better trained for hand to hand, and I've got more experience. There's no way I'm going to hold you against your will; it wouldn't be a fair fight."

"Teach me."

"Teach you...?"

"Everything."

There oughta be a law. Big, heavy, emotion-laden discussions should never happen at 0330; there's no way somebody isn't gonna get hurt. Maybe everybody. "Can we go back to me pretending to be asleep? Please?"

He slides off to the side, planting his forearms across my chest and resting his chin on the back of his stacked hands. He's studying me. Or maybe he's just looking up my nose, it's hard to tell in the dark. _"What?"_ I demand.

"I love you."

Oh, here it comes. "Yeah... backatcha."

"Jeeze, that was romantic."

"Daniel, I told you at the beginning, if you're looking for romance-"

"Gay sex isn't for me. Yes, I remember you telling me that. It's crap. If two people love each other, it isn't wrong to say it; it shouldn't matter what their gender is."

"I said it."

"'Backatcha'?"

"No," I correct him firmly, "earlier. 'It.' The whole... 'it'."

"So if we're together for fifty years, that's the only one I'm gonna get?"

_Fifty years? Did we get married while I wasn't paying attention?_ "You _do_ understand there can't be a white wedding on the gate ramp, right? That we've got to be incredibly discrete and low-key about this?"

"There's no one in this room but you and me, Jack," he says, scooching up till he's close enough to kiss me, so he does, and god help me, he's gonna make me hard again.

"You're insatiable, y'know that?" I accuse when he lets me go.

"No, I'm probably satiable," he reasons. "We just haven't reached that point yet." He begins to nibble teasingly at my lips until I'm forced to capture his tongue in my mouth, which is probably what he was after all along. "I enjoy kissing you," he mutters around my mouth when I let his tongue go free. "I enjoy tasting you... I enjoy making a mess on you..."

Suddenly, I'm thinking about all manner of sexual activities I've read about, enjoyed pornography about, but never indulged in because they seemed too intimate and personal to be doing with the strangers I used to have sex with. And I wonder how adventurous my lover is...

Lover.

I'm hard again, and so is he. I roll us so I'm on top, locking my elbows to hold myself over him without giving him any of my weight. I pause to wonder if he can see the predatory look on my face, if he can feel it in the charged air between us. And I do feel predatory. It's a familiar feeling, and I try to hold it at bay, but he's naked and under me, and old habits die hard.

"Daniel..."

"I want you," he breathes, "in me."

*****

This is the point in the Lifetime movie when the swooning heroine says something like, 'I love it when you're all masterful...' and the scene fades to black. You know she's gonna get boinked at that point, and everybody knows how it goes, so you don't really need to see it happen.

Well, this heroine really wishes he'd done some research on the particulars, because other than the obvious, I have no idea what's next. Somehow, Jack's going to attempt to get eight inches of velvet-covered tempered steel into my backside. I may actually be feeling faint.

"No. Not yet. You're not ready." His voice is gravelly, his words firmly resistant, but his body language isn't following.

"I am," I swear to him. "I want this." I know I can't keep someone like Jack O'Neill without giving it up, and I do intend to keep him. He's used to getting down and dirty inside his sexual partners, and if I want to be one of them, preferably the only one, I've got to learn to play in that sandbox.

With a growl of what-? Anger? Annoyance? He rolls off me, leaving me alone in the bed and in the room. I go after him.

He's more angry than annoyed, I've decided, as I find him standing in his dark living room, staring out the big windows into his back yard. His arms are folded across his chest, and I'm pretty sure I can hear his teeth grinding from where I stop, about six feet behind him.

"Jack...?"

"Just... don't."

"Don't what? Don't talk to you? Don't care about you? Don't tempt you? What?"

"Daniel..." the warning in his voice is clear: danger ahead if I push this. Well, I've never been accused of being terribly bright when it comes to relationship stuff. I close the gap between us and lay a hand on his naked back. I might imagine the gasp I hear; I'm not really sure.

"What scares you the most? Me asking for it, or you wanting it?"

"You don't have any fucking idea what you're talking about."

"I'm not that naive, Jack. I've got an idea how it's done."

"You should leave."

"You're wrong. I shouldn't. I can't. Not now."

He turns his head, and even without my glasses, I can see the fury in his expression, feel the lust coming off him in waves. To know that he feels all this for me... "This is a _bad_ idea."

I smile in what I hope is a reassuring way. "Which? The talking, or the fucking?"

"This isn't some game, Daniel."

"No, it isn't. And it isn't a mission anymore, either. I'm not a child, Jack; I can make my own decisions. I know what I want. I understand gay sex is different, and that any kind of relationship you and I try to have will have to be kept a secret." I move my hand up to cup the back of his neck, and I squeeze a little. "I'm sorry if my loving you complicates your life," I murmur.

"You have no idea."

"Then show me; I want to be part of your life. Teach me everything."

He grabs me then, and I find myself enclosed in a crushing bear hug. I hold him back, wondering which of us is doing the most shaking.

*****

This is so screwed up. I don't have any idea what I'm doing. I fuck men; I don't make love to them. Doesn't he understand that? Doesn't he realize there's a difference?

Feeling him now, naked in my arms, is what I thought I've wanted for a really long time. But now that we're here, I don't want it anymore. Daniel was someone I craved from afar; it was safer that way. I had my jerk-off fantasies, and we could still be friends in real life. If I cross that line, I'm afraid I'll lose him.

I pull back and regard him seriously. "If we do this, we won't be able to walk away unscathed. It'll change everything."

"We passed that point back on Tarega," Daniel says sadly, "the first time you kissed me." He takes my face into his hands and smiles like I'm some piece of beautiful pottery he's just discovered. "I want you to fuck me, Jack," he whispers.

He kisses me then, softly at first, then with intent. By the time the kiss ends, I've made my decision.

*****

"I won't fuck you," Jack says, his expression deadly serious. "But I'll try like hell to make love to you..."

I smile at the earnestness of his statement, but he kisses it away, and I'm aware that his erection has returned; I can feel the wetness at the tip as it leaves slimy trails along my hip. "I love you, Jack," I whisper around his mouth.

He takes my face into his hands and frowns hard, lips pressed tightly together. I imagine him thinking the words back to me, and it's enough. He takes my hand and leads me back to the bedroom, pulling me into his arms at the foot of his bed. The kisses are heated and urgent, fueled by his need to be inside me, I guess, and I'm harder than I have any right to be after coming twice already tonight.

"How do you want-" He kisses me quiet again, and I get the message; no words. I wait to see what he'll do. It's obvious he's treading on new ground here as well; in his own way, he's a virgin too, I guess.

"Lie down," he instructs me softly. I start to do so, planning to lie on my stomach, but he adds, "No. On your back."

I do as he asks and keep busy stroking my dick with my right hand while I cup my balls with my left. He stops on his way to the nightstand, presumably to get supplies, to watch me. I look him straight in the eye as I continue to pleasure myself, and from the corner of my eye, I see him grip his own shaft low, deep into his balls, squeezing hard. I make a mental note for later: Jack likes to watch me jerk off.

He rummages in the drawer for a few moments and comes up with a small bottle and a condom. He tosses them onto the bed beside me and then proceeds to climb onto the bed, arranging himself full length on the other side of me, his head resting on his bent arm. I give myself two fast jerks, gasp at the sensation, then pull his head down to mine for a deep kiss, rolling onto my side so we're touching completely. His breath is gusting out of his nose in heated pants, and as I feel his right hand in the small of my back, I wonder how close he is. I lift my left leg and throw it over his hip, leaving my package wide open for him to do with as he wishes. I'm so turned on right now, laying here with him like this, my arousal is edging out the fear.

I feel his hand grasp my balls and hold them snugly. This is Jack. He loves me. I love him. I can do this. I want him inside me.

"I want you, Jack," I moan into his mouth as my fingers twist around the chain of his dog tags. "God, I want you so bad..."

He pushes me onto my back and reaches around me for the bottle. "You've got to stop that, or this is gonna end way too soon," he warns as he pours some of the lube onto his fingers. "I'm gonna go slow," he promises me. "Spread your legs for me."

I feel his cool fingertip at my hole. _This is it._ I try to relax, but I've never engaged in ass play with any of my partners, and the idea of someone _-Jack-_ touching such an intimate place is mind blowing. He must see the fear in my eyes, because he lowers his mouth to mine. The deep kiss lets me forget about the intrusion of his finger for a split second, and then he's inside me.

My back arches up off the bed at the strange feeling. "Ohhh..."

"God, Danny, you're so responsive," he whimpers. "I'm not gonna last..."

"You'd _better_ fucking last," I warn him tightly through gritted teeth as I fist the sheets at the probing of the cool, intrusive finger. "This needs to be a joint project."

"Okay, okay, not going anywhere without me, I promise." He moves his finger inside me -Inside. My. Ass.- and it's probably the nastiest thing I've ever done. I think about apologizing; for what, I wonder? Bodily functions, maybe, then realize that probably isn't done. Anyone who sticks his finger in your ass is most likely prepared for whatever he might encounter there.

He moves it in and out, but never out all the way, then rotates his wrist back and forth. I swear I can feel the knuckle of his finger rubbing me. Then on one particular rotation, he touches something deep inside me, and an involuntary sound is pulled out of me, in a timbre way too deep to be mine. "Unnngh!"

He's smiling smugly now. "Prostate," he whispers.

"Again!" I demand. He strokes it once more, rubbing slow, tiny circles with the pad of his finger. My dick's so hard it hurts, and I feel like I need to take a piss. I take the direct stimulation for as long as I can, feeling a scream building up inside me. He must sense I'm on the edge, because he removes his finger from my body.

"NO!"

"Calm down," he whispers, covering my mouth with his own. My hand goes to my dick to finish it, 'cause that's all I can think about, but he takes my hand in his, intertwining our fingers so tightly it hurts. "Shhh... take it easy, Danny..."

"God, that was-" I'm gasping, desperate to breathe, more desperate to come, and wondering how long I'd been holding my breath. I free the arm that's been trapped between us and grip the back of his head, trying to tell him with my eyes how magnificent that felt.

"I know, I could tell..." He's smiling indulgently.

"Bastard!" I shake off the sticky hand that holds mine and push it back in between my legs. "Do it!"

He takes a second to re-oil his fingers and leans over to kiss me again. I'm ready for it this time, and wrap both my arms around his neck, hopefully holding him in place so he won't get away this time. The feeling in my ass is different, and I realize that's because there are two fingers inside me now. Jack's fingers. In. My. Ass. The dirty thought is still dirty, and the single most stimulating notion I've ever had follows it-- he _salutes_ with that hand.

"Oh, _GOD!"_ I cry out, as the fingers begin to move within me, encountering my previously virgin prostate. I suddenly realize I've pulled my knees back to my chest, instinctively opening myself up to him utterly and completely. _Slut,_ I accuse myself. _Fuck yes,_ I agree wholeheartedly. "Gimme more," I beg out loud.

"I think we should slow down-"

"I think you should shut up and fuck me-"

"Not yet; you're not ready."

I pull away to look down the length of my body, my legs splayed open, my ass canted up into the air, my dick rigid and leaking and his arm at the strangest angle until I remember that it's because his fingers are IN MY ASS. I groan out loud and arch my back, causing the angle of his stationary fingers to change, hitting my prostate again. I rock again, and my head is thrashing from side to side as I fuck myself frantically on his hand.

"NO!" Jack says tightly, withdrawing his hand. "Slow. _Down."_

"Bastard! You're torturing me!"

"I'm trying to make love to you, you idiot! If I'd've wanted to just fuck you, we'd've been done ten minutes ago!"

Panting and sweating, I flop back onto the bed, still outrageously horny, but slightly less crazed. "I'm sorry, it's just..."

"It must feel pretty good," he says wistfully, getting up onto his knees between my spread legs. As I watch him roll the condom on, I remember, he's never bottomed, so he wouldn't know how this feels.

"It's amazing," I tell him honestly. "I can't wait for your dick-"

"Well, you're gonna hafta wait another couple of minutes; my dick's bigger than two fingers and if I shove it inside you now, there's still a chance you'll tear." Finished with the condom, he leans over me, kissing me gently. "Ready for three?"

I nod and raise my legs, holding them open for him, presenting him with my ass to finish opening.

He grips his dick again, shaking his head at me. "You are one wanton son of a bitch, y'know that?"

"It's you," I smirk. "You bring out my inner slut."

He closes his eyes and grits his teeth. _"Bastard."_

"Get with the program, flyboy," I chuckle, "I need to come again."

On his way back to his date with my ass, he bends to push his face into my scrotum. I can feel his beard growth rasping against all that sensitized skin, and I groan out loud. He was right; this isn't terribly romantic. It's dirty, and hot, and I think I may be hooked.

I watch him as he lubes his covered dick, then the fingers of his saluting hand as he prepares to work my ass open a little more. "Unghhh... _goddamn..."_ I groan as the wedge of his fingers gently forces its way into my ass, turning, rubbing, burning. Filling me. _God,_ my ass feels so full. Experimentally, I bear down like I'm trying to expel his hand, and unexpectedly, his fingers pop in another knuckles' worth, and I arch up off the bed again. He seems to know this one is pain, because he hurriedly finds my gland again, and begins stroking it to re-brand the sensation into one of pleasure.

And god, it does. I don't know which aspect of all this is the strongest; the feeling of fullness, the prostate flares, or just the simple knowledge of where Jack's hand is. _In. My. Ass._

The switch isn't telegraphed, but before I can complain of the emptiness when his hand leaves my body, he's slid his dick inside without fanfare. We stare at each other with his tags swinging over me as he touches bottom, and that's the moment when the romance of it finally hits me.

We're one.

*****

He's crying. Oh, god, I've hurt him! "Danny?"

"Jack..."

I try to pull out, but his legs are clamped tightly around my back. He grabs my face and pulls me in for a kiss. It's not a great kiss, because he's crying. "Hurt you?"

He's shaking his head. "No, it doesn't hurt. Doesn't. Love you so much... god, I love you..."

I am so confused. Never had anybody cry before. Scream, cuss, take a swing at me, and once, complete deadly silence, but this crying is a first. I rest my weight on my elbows and use both my thumbs to wipe away the tears streaming down the sides of his face. "Danny, talk to me..." I'm feeling a little desperate here, clueless, is more like it, and if it weren't for the incredibly tight heat all around my dick, I'd've gone soft instantly. I _need_ intel. "What's wrong?"

The man's folded in half with a lot of my weight on top of him, so talking would be difficult, even it he weren't crying.

"Connected, Jack... don't you get it? You've made us one..." He lifts up to kiss me, a better one this time, and when his tongue strokes into my mouth, I get the reciprocal image of my dick in his ass, I finally buy the clue.

"Oh, man..." and then moving isn't an option anymore, and I pull up so I've got some leverage to thrust and so he can breathe, and we're doing it, we're making love. His eyes don't leave mine as I continue to pump into him, and this feels more right than ever. Eye contact isn't par for the course in my experience; I'm usually looking at the back of the head of some guy whose last name I don't even know, but as I move inside Daniel now, there's more than sex going on here, and I find myself smiling. This causes Daniel's face to break out in a huge grin, an all-too-rare sight, and _that_ makes me get stupid.

"I love you," I say out loud, feeling the buildup, not just in my balls, but in my heart.

"I know," he says, and then tries for a joke, smug bastard that he is. "Backatcha..."

He's got my tags in one hand, and he reaches for his dick with the other, jerking himself in time to my thrusts. I'm trying to angle toward his prostate, and I nail it every once in a while, and then language becomes nothing but grunting for both of us until it finally happens.

*****

It's practically morning following the strangest night of my life. I'm curled up against Jack's body and he's asleep-really dead to the world this time. I'm too keyed-up to sleep. I came over here last night, fairly certain I was ending both our friendship as well as SG-1's current configuration. I knew I couldn't continue to work with Jack, feeling as I did about him.

So what happens now?

Is the friendship still intact now that we're lovers? Can we continue to work together, even though we've been the most intimate that two people can ever be? Can I talk Jack into switching sometimes? Will we drive each other cra-

"Enough thinking..." Jack groans, his voice rough with sleep. "You're gonna hafta learn not to think so loud in the mornings..."

I smile to myself at his choice of words and hope that means I'll be spending a lot of mornings waiting for him to wake up. I climb on top of him, and he grunts at my weight. "You're gonna hafta learn not to sleep so long in the mornings," I reply quietly, nudging him subtly with my hard dick. "I need regular servicing."

He peers at me with one barely-opened eye. _"Servicing?"_

"C'mon," I coax, rocking my hips against him, which has the delicious effect of scraping the bottom of my cock as well as my balls against his slightly sticky pubic hair. I let out as lascivious a groan as I can manage. "I have needs, Jack..."

_"Needs?"  
__  
_"Is there an echo in here or something? Yeah, needs," I complain, frowning. "Let's fuck."

_"Fuck?"  
__  
_"YES, absolutely! That's more like it! I'm glad you agree!"

He groans. "You _can't_ be horny again. It was barely an hour ago..."

"It was an hour and a half, and I am. Wanna try something different this time." I climb off him, noticing his cock is beginning to wake up. About goddamn time. I kneel on all fours next to him on the bed. "Like this."

He manages to get both his eyes open this time, and I spread my knees apart and wiggle my ass in the air to make sure I have his attention. "What the fuck..."

"Exactly," I say triumphantly over my shoulder. "I'm still wide open; now get a condom on, and let's do it."

"You can't be-"

"I'm totally fucking serious. Get your dick over here."

"Daniel-" He's winding up to complain, but he's hard now and putting the condom on the whole time he's griping, so I block most of it out and impatiently wriggle my ass again as he reaches for the lube.

"All right, all right!" he bitches as he moves in behind me. "For cryin' out loud, Daniel, who the hell's topping here?"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever you say, big boy, just shove it in, okay?" I feel his hands cup my ass cheeks and gently pull them apart, and then the fat head of his dick is pushing into me. Slowly, deliciously, completely filling me, and it's every bit as good as it was last night. I lower my forehead to the mattress as I push back against him, groaning in pleasure. I can feel him stroking a finger down the long line of my back, then he lays over me, reaching between us to grasp my balls.

"God, Danny..." he says, rubbing his stubbly cheek against my shoulder.

I grip my cock, pulling it a little, just enough to tease myself, then clench my ass muscles around Jack's dick, squeezing a filthy groan out of him, which makes me even harder. Okay, I'm officially converted; gay sex is hot, at least with my guy it is. "Oh, yeah, let's go..."

Even if Jack won't switch, I can think of worse ways to spend the rest of my life.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, many thanks to Jude for her vast storehouse of pastparticipily knowledge, and MB for her most excellent cheerleading. All remaining mistakes are my own.


End file.
